House Concert Tom Goss

Join us for a house concert with singer-songwriter Tom Goss!

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Appreciating Housework

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It's true, you can find fun ways to keep your relationship vibrant. Soon you'll enjoy making the mudane household tasks interesting with these simple ideas. Next time you're putting the laundry away leave a shmily note in a sock or in a coffee cup when unloading the dishwasher. The anticipation of their expression when it's found, makes it worth the wait. Making the ordinary, extraordinary with a smiley-faced breakfast or fixing their favorite meal for no reason at all.
Imagine making housework fun or even sexy! iVillage recently released a survey with results which reveal how sharing chores can build a relationship. Everyone loves to be appreciated and acknowledged. Alisa Bowman has a very clever thought, make housework a new kind of foreplay
to encourage chore-sharing. Finding new ways to show appreciative loving is just a google away. Coming up 7th (in over 4 million sites) marriage suite 101 brings us these insights from author Genna Cockerham.

Fun in Your Great Long-Term Relationship

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Coming to your wedding in comfy shoes is a great start to any marriage. Life's too short to get married in tight shoes. Find fun ways to celebrate your love every single day. Just like Tracey & Conrad, (the couple in the shoes above) and Jill & Kevin, (check out their wedding dance (video) realize, life's not a dress rehearsal; it's the real thing. Our friends at What Happy Couples Do discuss the value of creating distinct rituals only the two of you share, and we whole-heartedly agree. We frequently blog on the importance of the bonding aspect of your relationship.

Though this seems intuitive, many people don't routinely do what we've come to call "Appreciative Loving". We've found when we take the time to appreciate and acknowledge the small things we do for each other, our relationship blooms. The more you give, the more you receive. It's very cool, it's fun, and it will enrich your relationship.
As Denise Quinlan notes in her recent article, "Positive relationships support development and learning, and they make us happy in the long-term." Building your relationship based on love, respect and trust will assure you a life-long, strong bond.
We've also enjoyed finding friends who share our appreciative loving concept. Couples who support this idea are positive people who enjoy building each other up. They surround themselves with other couples who do this as well, thus creating a circle of friends of Caffection.

Empty Nest

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The house even sounds empty, doesn’t it? You walk in and your footfall seems to echo; the sounds of the refrigerator clanking on startles you with its suddenness; imaginary kid sounds emanate from empty upstairs rooms. Pictures on the mantel stare back, and you remember when they were that age, and marvel at quickly time has passed. You miss your children: the laughter in the house; the hum of their constant presence; the palpable sensation that they are there, and that they need you. They were job one for as long as you can recall. Now they’re gone, and you miss them.
But there’s something else you miss. You miss each other; the easy interaction before the kids came along; the ability to throw a change of clothes and a toothbrush in a bag, jump in the car, tear away to New York, or San Francisco, or Kansas City for a long weekend, and never even think about the house, or pets, or kids. It was so easy, and you took for granted that it always would be. All you needed was a little cash, and a roadmap, and you were perfectly content. ...Read More

Creating Summer Fun

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We've heard many people are doing "Staycations" in place of vacations this year. And we're proof positive a staycation can be done with a smile and good humor. One thing we like to do is create our own fun. We go to local events, such as Red, White & Boom, we make up new wordles, we found "Caffection" listed as a Squeasel word. Once we found out about squeasel words we asked them to add a word Lynne Bowman of Equality Ohio created -- Banniversary -- (and the folks at Squeasel did it!) We've gone out to eat with several friends and still have more events to attend. We've heard the new ballpark is a great venue, so we'll be taking in a game soon. We also have a little chiminea out back & with the cooler temps, we've been able to sneak out there at night, make a fire & watch the fireflys.
So tell us your staycation ideas!

Humor

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It's not often we allow ourselves the luxury of a good laugh, but we need to do that once in a while. We do tend to take ourselves much too seriously, especially now when the economy is lower than whale poop. So here are a few of the latest & greatest chuckles--all of which are easily used in so-called polite company.

Fellow barges into his shrink's office screaming and raving--"I'm a wigwam; I'm a teepee--I'm a wigwam;I'm a teepee!!"
His shrink says, "Settle down you're too tense."

"Doctor, I think I'm suffering from deja-vu"
"Didn't I see you yesterday?"

"Doctor, come quick--my son swallowed a pen! What do I do?"
"Use a pencil till I get there."

Then there was the dim-witted fellow stopping traffic by standing outside his car doodling on a notepad. The police officer asked what the heck he was doing? Continuing his doodle, the fellow stated--"The sign says draw bridge"

And finally--The teacher asked little Freddy why they were called the dark ages?
Freddy said simply, "Because there were so many knights!"

Enjoy--and take care of each other.

Summer Outtings

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Today we were asked & attended a picnic. We enjoyed the company of some new friends who understand life is all about being who you really are. Knowing that you're here to support one another and make the campsite a little nicer when you leave.
When we accept that judging others isn't something we're required to do, it frees up a lot of time. Time to create new rituals in your own relationship, time to focus on fun and each other, time to meet new people and create life long friendships. Summer fun! Enjoy.

Spring

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Spring is here, and time for all manner of new awakenings. We've been to a number of rallies over the past months. Some in bitter cold; some in the not so cold; one indoors this past week that felt for all the world like a filming of a 'We are the World' clip, with its ambiance, impromptu nature, and atmosphere of warmth. Preferring warmth, we liked the indoors version. The event was a gathering at AIDs Task Force of Greater Cleveland to make a video. The featured performer was Tom Goss, who led us through a rendition of his recent hit, 'Till the End'. We managed to get through the song in pretty good form, I think. The event was to draw attention to Cleveland's recent referendum on a couples registry there, which the religious right is fighting tooth and nail. Check out our video at the link provided, or, if you want to see the polished video of 'Till the End', go to Caffection.com. The music clip is currently featured on the landing page there. Enjoy, and Happy Spring!

Flat Stanley

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Kids are great. We recently had a chance to meet 'Flat Stanley' at a concert in Cleveland. Mr. Stanley is a fairly interesting, if quite flat individual. He's part of a project by a bunch of grade school kids to show how globally connected we all are. The kids send Flat Stanley as many places as they can dream up, then journal about his travels. Often Mr. Stanley actually makes his way home to the sender! Flat Stanley has traveled the world, even getting his picture taken aboard the space shuttle. He's a very photogenic fellow, well traveled, affable, and has the added wonderful attribute of being able to fit in an envelope. Look for a Flat Stanley near you.
Above, musician Tom Goss entertains Flat Stanley, one of Tom's many devoted fans. (Hope he doesn't sing flat!)

Marriage Rituals

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We often ask people what rituals they have. Things such as license plates for their cars, wine glasses they always drink from, special treats they get each other often. Many give us a confused stare, followed by a bit of dancing around the topic when we explain ourselves in greater detail. But usually most couples do have rituals they enjoy, and we'd like to have everyone send us a couple of theirs so we can compile a Caffected Couples Ritual list. We'd love to have you send pictures too!

October in Chicago

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Okay, a little diversion here from the usual caffection blog, and couples-only reading. Here's to my Cubs who are headed to the playoffs! Yes, there is an October in Chicago after all. And it's time. Unless you've been hiding out with Bin Laden and his colleagues, you know it's been exactly 100 years (yes, a century) since Chicago's National League Baseball club took home a world series triumph. Sixty-two years since the Cubs appeared in a series at all. But hey, every team needs to rebuild, right?

So go Cubs, and here's the even better part: historically, with very few exceptions, when the National League wins the series, a Democrat wins the White House, when the American League wins/Republicans take it all--'52 & '56, Ike & the Yankees--'60, Kennedy & the Pirates--'64, LBJ & the Cardinals--'68, Nixon & the Tigers--'72, Nixon & Oakland--'76, Carter & the Cincinnati Reds--etc. etc.

So, go Cubs, and let's get out the vote come November. Is this a great country or what?

Open Vs Closed

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Here's an anecdote from the world of positive spin that has applications for all of us: how to use different phrases & verbiage to change perceptions, and to alter people's understanding of the possible. At Disneyland, if you ask "what time does the park close?", you'll get this answer from one Mickey's well-trained Disney-preneurs: "Disneyland is open till 9 o'clock tonight!"

See the difference? We're yet to become Disney workers, but when we do we'll learn all manner of techniques to put things in as positive a light as possible. Think of all the suggestions, comments, ads, anecdotes, asides, responses and suggestions you receive every day. How many of them concentrate on what's wrong with something as opposed to what could be just different, or interesting, or even better than what you expected? As we used to say on the Island, "no rain, no rainbows." Are we a couple of Pollyannas? Perhaps. But as we said, the above story simply illustrates the possible. No perverse contortion of truth, no devious 'spin'. Just a simple fact. The park is open till 9. But a whole different feel for what's important. Too bad we have to be conscious of the need. We'll work on it.

Staycations

"Staycation" is the new word on the street. If you're staying close to home while on vacation this year,

Yum!

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This is how we felt when we had

our first taste of

"Imagine Whirled Peace"

(see June 6 blog)

If you enjoy ice cream, give it a whirl!

Chocolate Caffection

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A picture's worth a thousand words.

Change

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As we've read in "Who Moved My Cheese" one thing in life is certain -- change is inevitable. As a new iMac user (post PC) I'm in the midst of a major change. I'm sure it's for the best in the long run, but today I'm leaning on my mate to shore up my patience and give me support during this computer transition. That's what best friends do.

BEME Indeed

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I'm imagining people sitting around their tables at the Brick Oven Pizza in Kalaheo, surveying all the license plates, scratching their heads--"BEME? Iowa? What's that mean?" Then back to their pepperoni pineapple pizza.
Everyone should have what we have--and, unlike pizza, there's enough for everyone. In fact, any way you slice it, the more there is--the more there is!

We'll go back to the Brick Oven someday and take them another plate. And ask for one of theirs. Yum!

Spring

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Mini-Dills outside, and the promise of newness, rebirth, another transition to some other thing. But it is comforting in the midst of all the change to know one thing never does -- our love & devotion to each other.

The first cook-out on the grill was grand! Soon we'll be tooling around on our bikes once again, enjoying the season fully.

HAPPY SPRING