Good Reads

Caffection.com

One of our favorite pastimes is reading. We recently became reacquainted with a website which helps us track the books we've read. A friend recommended Goodreads to us last year. Now instead of saying, "We really should write down the books we've read." We say, "Did you put that on "Goodreads?" If you're readers like we are, you'll enjoy it too. Let us know what you're reading, or better yet add Caffection as a Goodread friend. See you there.

Directionally Challenged

CAFFECTION.COM

This is for all of those (others) out there who are directionally challenged too.
First some ground rules to get us started:
1) You CAN get to Gahanna from OSU by way of Bexley.
2) The sunset is readily visible driving WEST.
3) "Feeling" like you're driving in the right direction doesn't make it correct.
4) It does not help to keep driving when rule #3 is occurring.
The rest of the story:
My first "OMG I'm lost [again]" clue was when I arrived on the corner of High Street with the following posted signs: No Right Turn, No Left Turn, Detour AND the car in front of me sported the vanity plate NOWWUT. This is when I smiled & laughed out loud.

I appreciate Byron because, though he'll never understand how it happens, he's the first to say, "It's okay Mariah, there's more than one way to get home."

And when you're Caffected, there is no place like home.

Resources Abound

Caffection.com

Project: Noun. Mr Webster states this is a 'planned event', though some projects fall way outside the 'planned' concept. We're in the midst one of those 'projects' right now. We're changing web hosts for Caffection.com and have run into more than a few snags. Being true optimists, we didn't have far to look to find the good in the challenges. Here's three just for starters: 1) This has given us opportunity to implement ideas recommended by the many Caffection fans out there. 2) We've revisited some of the sites we list as resources and found they've also upgraded and improved their sites as well. Freedom to Marry has a dynamic page on legal marriage and HRC has a wedding registry for couples to share their excitement & joy. 3) As with any project, dusting & sprucing things up helps keep a site fresh and vibrant. Just like a good relationship, always finding new ways to show gratitude and affirmation. While we're pushing ahead, we appreciate your patience with some broken links and disheveled pages. The gain will be worth the pain.

Caffection Connection

CAFFECTION.com

As a Caffected Couple, making friends you both connect with is a great way to affirm your relationship (as well as the other couples'). Some fun ways to support each others' relationships are getting together for dinners, going to concerts or just playing cards. Though we can't believe it ourselves, the photo above was taken pool-side during a Christmas Eve celebration on Kauai with our friends Becky & Andy. We've all had friends that we hate to say good-bye to when life moves us on, yet staying connected over long distance and years is worth the time and effort.

Reconnecting With Your Spouse

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What happens when the kids finally do leave home? It seems as if life with children is lived in stages; when they get out of diapers, when child care issues aren't a consideration, when shuttling kids to & from activities is over, when they get their driver's license (yikes!) when they go off to college, when they move out (after they've moved home again).
Then comes this question we may ask ourselves, "Who is this person I married so long ago and what was it that brought us together in the first place?"
Over the next few weeks we'll share stories of couples who've worked through some of the challenges the empty-nest can bring, as well as ways to enrich your marriage.
One of the stories includes how one couple rebuilt their communication by using a traveling journal. Tune in soon for details on how this fun (and free) tool can enrich your life too.

Wanted: Photos of Happy Couples

Caffection.com

We're searching for pictures of happy couples for a new musical photo album. The musical photo album "Mine" was a great hit, enjoyed by those in it as well as their family and friends. Albums that share the joy vibrant relationships bring fosters a greater sense of community for all of us. So if "happy couple" describes your relationship, or if you're not in a relationship, but know a couple who fits the bill, please send us a picture.
Our hope is to fill the Caffection website with testimonials and photos that tell the story of love. For those of you who've sent us pix & stories, Thank You and feel free to send another (perhaps a funny story or a wedding incident -- though this one is hard to top)
Let's work together and build a community of people who support marriage and all it has to offer.
p.s. Congrats and Thank You Jill & Kevin -- your creativity and generosity are enriching marriage and supporting a fabulous cause! We're encouraging our readers who've enjoyed your video to make a donation to the Sheila Wellstone Institute too.

What Color is Your Soul?

Caffection.com

A question not often pondered, but consider it for a moment if you will. Where does that one simple question take you? First you may drift to the color charts of your mind. Is it really that simple, after all what is a soul? An extension of our deepest self that reflects our truest feelings? A spiritual entity within?
What color is your soul? Does this color include an appreciation for the many areas of your life for which you're grateful? Is the color warm or cool just now? Will it reflect the hope you have for the future or carry the weight of past sorrows? How wonderful to be present, allowing your true colors to shine brightly as an affirming light, for the ones you love the most and the ones watching from afar.
What color would you like the world to see?

Be Mine

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Isn't Caffection cool? Cuddle just because you can, praise each other often, surprise them by doing 'their' chores for them occasionally. It's fun to know you're in a great relationship, enjoy it.

My Journal to You

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We've talked many times about using rituals to keep your bond strong. The first time we blogged about "JATS" June 21, 2008 we received some curious doubt. "Do you really write to each other in bed?" Well, yes, we do. It affirms our love. The romance continues. Try it, you'll like it.

The American Dream

Caffection.com

Solid, committed relationships should be embraced as the gold standard for everyone in pursuit of the American Dream. From a very young age we're taught the value of family. You remember; 2 parents, one car, two kids, a home with a white picket fence, a dog (or a Box Turtle) and bikes with streamers in the handle bars. Today life's a bit more hectic, creating an even greater need for a strong 2 parent family nucleus. Two loving, committed parents. Two people who love each other first and foremost. Two people who treasure their relationship.
And this is why we advocate for marriage.
Healthy, vibrant marriages are vital to our country's stability and future. Civil rights education is needed on every level. Solid, committed relationships are to be embraced as the gold standard for everyone in pursuit of the American Dream. It's our goal, through Caffection! Married to My Best Friend, to affirm all Caffected Couples and to stand by their side now and on the glorious day of their wedding.

Healthful Marriage

Caffection.com

The Healthful Marriage Recipe
preheat your union

• Heartful of Love
• Cup of Kindness
• Unlimited Forgiveness
• Ton of Intimacy
• Acre of Affection

Blend love and kindness. Nurture in forgiveness (carefully discarding resentment and anger) Bake with intimacy. Garnish with affection.
Serves 2.
Lasts a lifetime when tended with care.

Journaling to Affirm

Caffection.com

It's true that we've written volumes to each other over the years, most of which has taken place in the most unlikely spot...our bed. The Journal Across The Sheets (JATS) has served many purposes during our 106+ month marriage. Our JATS has allowed us to jot things down before spouting off, log observations about current affairs, share goofy moments that happened during our day, ramble on about kids, work, or relatives without even talking. Just the activity of putting pen to paper helps us work through some issues in our own mind. This seems to make less of the problem before we even mention it. This alone is beneficial. But the real benefit is that we know there isn't anything we can't share with each other. That's a big part of being married to your best friend. There's no daylight between us, no secrets, no hidden agenda. Just you + me = WE. Actually, we've found the more random 'stuff' we write about, the closer we've become. If you're wondering if that's all we JATS about? It's true, the bulk of our writing is just 'stuff', but make no mistake, it IS written in bed by two adults who respect, honor and adore each other in the best Caffected relationship possible. Do you know a couple who seemed to suddenly, out of the blue, crumble on the rocks, their marriage foundering without any explanation or warning? It's possible a journal such as our JATS may have prevented their unforeseen marital catastrophe. These days with so much electronic & other interference in our lives, writing to each other seems quaint, almost naive. But if it works to keep people together in the quiet of their bedroom, it's more than worth the effort. And who knows what may happen after you put the pen down?

Marriage Rituals

Caffection.com

We often ask people what rituals they have. Things such as license plates for their cars, wine glasses they always drink from, special treats they get each other often. Many give us a confused stare, followed by a bit of dancing around the topic when we explain ourselves in greater detail. But usually most couples do have rituals they enjoy, and we'd like to have everyone send us a couple of theirs so we can compile a Caffected Couples Ritual list. We'd love to have you send pictures too!

Married to Your Best Friend, Show Your Appreciation

CAFFECTION.com

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest
appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. JFK

Though these words from JFK ring true for everyone, stylistic differences, brought out by living together day in & day out, can cause tensions. It's amazing how a few words of appreciation create a more peaceful union. If you find yourself irritated about the way your mate folds the laundry or the way the TP roll is hung, try this; write them a note of thanks for doing it. This will help you remember someone else is doing the task (even if it's folded differently, it's done!) and it serves as a reminder that you get to choose your attitude. Isn't it cool to have a positive relationship? Everyone should have a love like yours.

Are We Non-Standard?

Caffection.com

Is different wrong? Our society often treats 'different' as unacceptable,bad or even immoral. But why? Could it be we were raised differently? Have we really taken the time to understand other view-points?
Recently we've had cause to evaluate what we consider the 'norm' or standard. A friend explained their daughter's word; "Non-Standard." Exactly. We're all non-standard in some way, and our non-standard, is another person's standard. The key is to learn from one another, to take the opportunity to understand before we judge. Many people share the same values we do, though they may not look like we do, wear what we wear, live where we live or have the same spiritual upbringing. They may not eat the foods we do, speak the same language or drive on the same side of the road, yet they live by the same guiding principles.
Caffection is like that. Being nice doesn't cost anything. It's FREE! So make being kind your default mode. Affirm each other everyday, sneak a note into your lovers' lunch bag, do the laundry -- even if it's not your turn. Find ways to make your caffection FUN. A positive, sexy, fun marriage is a choice. Decide today to make it your reality.
p.s. tuck the kiddos in bed, grab your caffected other (aka Best Friend) and see what marriage can be. ENJOY.

Is Married (Caffected) Sex Better?

Caffection.com

You bet it is. How many of you can't even imagine the dating scene?! A question we hear is, "Can a marriage maintain sexual excitement over time?" Absolutely. It even gets better! And here are 6 fun ways to do just that:
1) Carry around a note (affirmation) in your pocket that says I love being with my sexy mate.
2) Text a seductive message to your lover.
3) Put a juicy note in their lunch bag.
4) Wear an outfit you know turns them on.
5) Call them when they're on their way home from work and breathe heavily in the phone.
6) Invite them into the bedroom with lit candles, incense, and music awaiting. Then strip them naked and do a strip-tease for them. Give them a massage--if you can make it that long.

Affirming Exclusive Romantic Marriage

CAFFECTION.com

The books we read have a direct impact on our path. We know there are no mistakes in the universe, the challenges life sends our way can lead us down an unexpected path. Our response to those challenges, however, creates our life direction. It is the same for you.
You see, you are the pilot. You are the navigator. As long as you remain in control of your thoughts, you are in control of your life. We believe attitude and kindness are a choice. Every day we're all surrounded by countless messages from our family, the media and our society. We have the privilege of choosing what we take in AND what we give out.
Our choice is reflected through the information we provide on our website & blog. Caffection Married to My Best Friend indicates we're positive people who live by the examples of our many teachers.

Celebration

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Our most recent gift comes from S in California. Here's part of what she writes:

"Today is my birthday. I know how fortunate I am to be alive. And I know how fortunate I am to have such a loving relationship. My brother and his son have come out to visit, and we are awaiting M's arrival so that we can all go out to dinner and celebrate. But honestly, for us every day is a celebration!"

S, thank you for sharing this heartfelt story, and for affirming us. A celebration indeed.
(She and M were married in August '08--congratulations!)

Happily Ever After -- Caffected!

CAFFECTION! Married To My Best Friend

has the goal of providing affirmation and resources for happily "Caffected" couples. But to believe the childhood nursery rhyme and fairy tale promises, "and they lived happily ever after" can occur spontaneously is as much of a myth as the tales themselves. We know when you go the extra mile in your relationship, you're rewarded tenfold. Affirming each other in some way every single day will help you realize the 'happily ever after' goal. And what a grand goal creating a fantastic marriage is. One that everyone should have, as our friends at Marriage Equality and Freedom to Marry understand. Everyone should have a love like this.
Even though we've not been 'discovered' by Wikipedia (and anyone out there who's so inclined, feel free to let the wiki's know about us), recent Google searches reveal there are 12,700,000 links for married friendship. Good news for marriage!
We're excited to report there is a new resource page in progress for the website. One that will provide additional links for couples who will be changing their status to married! That day will be a time for all married best friends to celebrate.

Create Positive Affirmations

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It's a double-edged sword, keeping a positive attitude and being up to date on the current news. We've all seen how the news is mostly negative. It does require work to stay focused on the good, but there's a lot out there. Let's look for some today.
Married best friends have reason to be positive about every aspect of their lives; we’re happier, healthier, less stressed, and more content. We talk about legacy. Usually that means money, but having a caffected relationship may be an even better legacy for your heirs than $. If the kids see you interacting with respect and compassion for each other, they'll want that, too.
We encourage you to find positive news every day. Smile, laugh, find joy.