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 CAFFECTION.COM

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Celebrate Your Relationship

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Our mission is to energize relationships, and celebrate an elite status--Caffection! We believe in affirming positive vibrant relationships.
Being in an intimate relationship with the person you're closest to in the world is incredibly romantic. It's sexy as hell. Just walking down the street together holding hands people notice how attractive you are, and they want it, too.
Our mission at Caffection is to bring light to the fact that fabulous long-term relationships can (and do) happen. A call to all Caffected couples, let's stand up and be the role models our society needs today.

Awake With Appreciation

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What wonderful thing, waking each morning with the person you love (and LIKE too).
Take a deep breathe in, touch their warmth and whisper words of gratitude to yourself. If your mate is in the drowsy awake period, they'll hear your comforting words. Knowing they feel the same increases your connection to your each other. Savor your fabulous relationship by remembering this moment later in the day, and smile.

Love, Commitment and Caffection

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We attended a beautiful wedding last weekend. Two people who are obviously caffected, in every sense of the word. There's nothing they wouldn't do for each other and it shows. We understand this feeling of commitment, concern and love. It's an appreciation for one another that grows deeper everyday and can last a lifetime if nurtured properly.
We routinely send cards (now you can even send e-cards), leave each other notes, look up fun & romantic places to travel. We do simple things, such read and make meals together (and clean up the kitchen). Just knowing the other is there to help or lend a hand adds value to our relationship.
What do you do to build your bond?

The Caffection Continues

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One year ago today the Caffection website resource commenced. In those 12 months we've met many wonderful couples interested in celebrating their relationship while building a stronger bond. It's an exciting time of growth here at Caffection as we develop new ideas suggested by Caffected couples around the world. Couples like you! This year we'll be encouraging couples to spread the word about how wonderful a Caffected relationship is.
Thanks for a great first year!

Below is the blog message of October 3, 2008:
CAFFECTION.COM is a real live website! YES! After several months, and long, tedious, tender tendering, our caffected couples website is up and running. It’s very much like sending one’s child out into the world. Take a peek at Caffection.com and you’re bound to find something there of interest to you, to help celebrate your caffected relationship.
We feel compelled to reiterate here on our launch announcement just what our mission statement is:
Our mission is to energize relationships, and celebrate an elite status--Married Best Friends. Caffection is the brand for married friendship. We believe in marriage. We believe those who choose to marry should be married to their best friend. Con't.

Directionally Challenged

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This is for all of those (others) out there who are directionally challenged too.
First some ground rules to get us started:
1) You CAN get to Gahanna from OSU by way of Bexley.
2) The sunset is readily visible driving WEST.
3) "Feeling" like you're driving in the right direction doesn't make it correct.
4) It does not help to keep driving when rule #3 is occurring.
The rest of the story:
My first "OMG I'm lost [again]" clue was when I arrived on the corner of High Street with the following posted signs: No Right Turn, No Left Turn, Detour AND the car in front of me sported the vanity plate NOWWUT. This is when I smiled & laughed out loud.

I appreciate Byron because, though he'll never understand how it happens, he's the first to say, "It's okay Mariah, there's more than one way to get home."

And when you're Caffected, there is no place like home.

Resources Abound

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Project: Noun. Mr Webster states this is a 'planned event', though some projects fall way outside the 'planned' concept. We're in the midst one of those 'projects' right now. We're changing web hosts for Caffection.com and have run into more than a few snags. Being true optimists, we didn't have far to look to find the good in the challenges. Here's three just for starters: 1) This has given us opportunity to implement ideas recommended by the many Caffection fans out there. 2) We've revisited some of the sites we list as resources and found they've also upgraded and improved their sites as well. Freedom to Marry has a dynamic page on legal marriage and HRC has a wedding registry for couples to share their excitement & joy. 3) As with any project, dusting & sprucing things up helps keep a site fresh and vibrant. Just like a good relationship, always finding new ways to show gratitude and affirmation. While we're pushing ahead, we appreciate your patience with some broken links and disheveled pages. The gain will be worth the pain.

Caffection Connection

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As a Caffected Couple, making friends you both connect with is a great way to affirm your relationship (as well as the other couples'). Some fun ways to support each others' relationships are getting together for dinners, going to concerts or just playing cards. Though we can't believe it ourselves, the photo above was taken pool-side during a Christmas Eve celebration on Kauai with our friends Becky & Andy. We've all had friends that we hate to say good-bye to when life moves us on, yet staying connected over long distance and years is worth the time and effort.

What We Leave Behind

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There's an old, apocryphal story of a couple who'd been together over fifty years. They were a model couple, loving, warm, compassionate, a truly 'Caffected' pair. The old man developed a fatal illness, and was dead within a few months. His widow was grief stricken, of course that her best friend was gone--for now--but she relished the many years they'd been together. At the funeral home, people came and went, consoling the old woman, viewing the old man in his casket. They all left the viewing scratching their heads, all with the same question: Why was he holding a fork in his left hand?
weeks later, the old widow was asked that question by a group of friends at church. "Why was your husband holding a fork in his hand in his casket?"
"Because," the old woman said with a smile. "My dear husband loved dessert. I always told him during dinner, 'keep your fork, the best is yet to come'."
So...what will you want to be holding in your hand when they lower you into the ground?

TROG

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TROG--A new word? Actually, an acronym meaning Truly Ridiculous Outrageous Goal. It's your big WHY? It's the reason you get out of bed in the morning. We all need a TROG, a big WHY, a reason to get out of bed in the morning. If we don't have a TROG we may as well go back to bed and have a big Z, because our day(s) will almost surely be a disappointment.
Our TROG, our big why is Caffection for everyone. We look forward to the day when divorce is a foreign concept because people actually get married for love. They value their relationship so much that they form work of art that others want to emulate.
TROG because our goal consists of four parts: Truly--it really is what we intend; Ridiculous--subject to ridicule? Yes, but we're not about to let that sway us--A moon landing was called a ridiculous goal by many people; Outrageous? Sure, and why not? How many people would respond to a goal of sorting your sock drawer? Goal? Yes it is. Everyone needs one. Join us?

New Definition

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Once in a while a new word, phrase or definition comes along. Then, after hanging around for a while in the doldrums, it begins to get a bit of buzz, and then reaches the tipping point, spilling into the popular domain. At that point the word becomes almost a fad item: People work it into every conversation they can, just to show how alert they are to ever changing social trends. 'Tipping point' is just such a phrase. ' Google' is another. 'Empowerment' is the buzzword for what used to be called individuality.
So along comes 'Caffection'. At this non-tippy point, Caffection is in the doldrums, still waiting in line to find its way into the lexicon. As I write this, people still have trouble wrapping their tongue around the word--Caff--fection, they say, or Caffac...Caffavect...Cafelect...No wait. We predict that at some time in the near future Caffection (Affection with a C in front) will become a buzzword, the latest fad word that glides off everyone's lips like champagne bubbles, only easier.
And what will they mean when they work Caffection into a conversation? They'll be referring to a new definition of committed, stable, secure, happy marriage--marriage to one's best friend. They'll say Caffection is the only way to live. And they'll be right.
Got Caffection?

New Tradition

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History has shown us the way forward in every struggle. Not long ago in this country slavery was a 'tradition', property ownership exclusively by men was a 'tradition', child labor was a 'tradition', miscegenation laws were a 'tradition'. So when people fall back on tradition to continue supporting certain social injustices, it's time to take a closer look and move past the shackles of 'tradition'. What gets in our way is usually fear; fear of change, fear of social disapproval; fear of the unknown. Making solid, vibrant, healthy, CAFFECTED relationships the new tradition is one of our visions. Allow others to watch you interact in positive affirming ways. Compliment one antoher, hold hands, smile, 'make eyes' at each other. Enjoy! Caffection is fun.

Be Mine

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Isn't Caffection cool? Cuddle just because you can, praise each other often, surprise them by doing 'their' chores for them occasionally. It's fun to know you're in a great relationship, enjoy it.

Choose Your Life

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We have a calling to train couples to celebrate their solid relationships with affirmations and rituals. It's very exciting to know you can choose your attitude and your life! How wonderful to be in a forever relationship with the one you love the most.
An important part of a caffected relationship is making time for each other, not just the leftover pieces of your day. 'Quality time' is a cliche, but there's a particle of truth to it. Love requires positive energy management to not only sustain itself, but to grow and prosper.
Creating rituals helps you focus your time and energy on your mate, your best friend! Making time for your best friend lets them know just how important they are to you.
Imagine being able to be with the one special person who knows your secrets, knows your foibles, fears, aspirations. The one you'd want sharing your space, your kitchen, your car, your bed, your living and dining room, your romantic interludes, your life? If you're nodding your head right now, you are caffected. We applaud your commitment!
Be sure to use this recipe to keep your love fresh & vibrant: Combine fun, nurturing, patience, understanding, appreciation, support, respect. Knead well. Rich rewards are in store. Enjoy.

Caffected Wealth

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Being in a caffected relationship you have a lot of trust in your mate. There are many kinds of wealth, which is why we commonly acknowledge: Wealth is Freedom. If you're scratching your head, wondering what are they talking about, let us elaborate a bit. A strong relationship can bring rich rewards, emotional, physical and yes, monetary. When you create a trusting bond you're able to discuss important issues and concerns more openly, without fear of retaliation or scrutiny. When you can agree on how to manage your finances together you're building a foundation of trust. Due to recent economic trends, retail therapy is becoming exposed for what it is, a substitute for genuine happiness in a relationship. It's more obvious than ever that a Caffected bond doesn't just promise wealth, it actually delivers it.

It Does Keep Getting Better!

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"The Better It Gets, The Better It Gets." Abraham-Hicks

Yes, it does keep getting better. As we approach our 108th month (9 years!) anniversary, we're excited to announce: the honeymoon isn't over! Being married to your best friend truly is fantastic. We believe any and all people in vibrant, healthy relationships who choose to make this commitment, should not only be allowed, but encouraged, to join up. Everyone should celebrate Caffection!

The American Dream

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Solid, committed relationships should be embraced as the gold standard for everyone in pursuit of the American Dream. From a very young age we're taught the value of family. You remember; 2 parents, one car, two kids, a home with a white picket fence, a dog (or a Box Turtle) and bikes with streamers in the handle bars. Today life's a bit more hectic, creating an even greater need for a strong 2 parent family nucleus. Two loving, committed parents. Two people who love each other first and foremost. Two people who treasure their relationship.
And this is why we advocate for marriage.
Healthy, vibrant marriages are vital to our country's stability and future. Civil rights education is needed on every level. Solid, committed relationships are to be embraced as the gold standard for everyone in pursuit of the American Dream. It's our goal, through Caffection! Married to My Best Friend, to affirm all Caffected Couples and to stand by their side now and on the glorious day of their wedding.

Passing It On

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Passing on your knowledge is another form of paying it forward. People are watching. They see you as an individual, and as a couple. It's good to understand the positive impact we can have on the 'yet-to-be' married people and act accordingly. Marriage is fun, interesting, and exciting. It's also worth every challenge involved in making it great. Making it Caffection! Surprised to hear us say 'challenge'? Life can be challenging, and relationships are no different. It's all about focus, because what you focus on, truly does expand. We choose to focus on the positives in life. We build our Caffection more each day by encouraging each other, doing small tasks for one another, smiling more than we frown and taking the time to write a note of encouragement. Today go out of your way to make your best friend's life easier. Today be aware that others' are learning from your example. Then smile, you're a marriage role model. Cool, very cool.

Journaling to Affirm

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It's true that we've written volumes to each other over the years, most of which has taken place in the most unlikely spot...our bed. The Journal Across The Sheets (JATS) has served many purposes during our 106+ month marriage. Our JATS has allowed us to jot things down before spouting off, log observations about current affairs, share goofy moments that happened during our day, ramble on about kids, work, or relatives without even talking. Just the activity of putting pen to paper helps us work through some issues in our own mind. This seems to make less of the problem before we even mention it. This alone is beneficial. But the real benefit is that we know there isn't anything we can't share with each other. That's a big part of being married to your best friend. There's no daylight between us, no secrets, no hidden agenda. Just you + me = WE. Actually, we've found the more random 'stuff' we write about, the closer we've become. If you're wondering if that's all we JATS about? It's true, the bulk of our writing is just 'stuff', but make no mistake, it IS written in bed by two adults who respect, honor and adore each other in the best Caffected relationship possible. Do you know a couple who seemed to suddenly, out of the blue, crumble on the rocks, their marriage foundering without any explanation or warning? It's possible a journal such as our JATS may have prevented their unforeseen marital catastrophe. These days with so much electronic & other interference in our lives, writing to each other seems quaint, almost naive. But if it works to keep people together in the quiet of their bedroom, it's more than worth the effort. And who knows what may happen after you put the pen down?

Marriage Rituals

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We often ask people what rituals they have. Things such as license plates for their cars, wine glasses they always drink from, special treats they get each other often. Many give us a confused stare, followed by a bit of dancing around the topic when we explain ourselves in greater detail. But usually most couples do have rituals they enjoy, and we'd like to have everyone send us a couple of theirs so we can compile a Caffected Couples Ritual list. We'd love to have you send pictures too!