I know that anyone who desires the commitment of marriage, will one day be allowed to be a wife or a husband. If you're someone who is in a vibrant, healthy, committed relationship and your desire is to be married, yet it's illegal for you to marry, please know-- in my humble opinion -- -- you are more married than a lot of 'married' folks. I look forward to the day I can dance at your wedding (though I don't dance well, I have a lot of fun trying!) And that's what life's about.
Since the day I became Mrs. Byron Edgington I pinch myself and think -- "Wow, how does it just keep getting better?" Though you may be skeptical of that, it's just true. Many people tell me, "Oh, it's not that easy for me because..." and proceed to tell me the many life challenges they must deal with. I do understand and acknowledge the difficulties of past baggage (we have some of that to contend with too) however, everything is a choice. I choose to find the positive in everything. I choose to live in the here and now as much as possible. And so can you.
I also believe if you desire marriage, YOU can make it the most fulfilling experience of your life. Your marriage is your marriage! It's not your parents', your siblings' or any of your friends' experience. It is yours. You get to choose how wonderful it is. Byron and I recognized this early on, we try to make every day one that states "our marriage is fantastic!" Is it always that way? Of course not, but on the days I'm down, he brings me up and vice-versa. Yes, we've both been down on the same days and then friends like you bring us up again.
I've found it's the simple stuff, done on a regular basis, that has made the big difference. I write notes and stuff them in his socks or lunch bag. I do chores he doesn't care to do, I always talk about him with positive regard when others talk about their mates at work. You know why? Because I choose to. And you can to. Find ways to nurture your mate in some way every single day. This is a gift only you can give.
My marriage also taught me how to receive. I had to learn how to accept the nurturing By gave me. This was foreign to me, as it may be to you, but it's a very important way to build your relationship. Everyday I look in the mirror and say, "Thank you, I love you." Acknowledging and accepting yourself is critical to your vibrant marriage. Your mate loves you and you should too.