Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Tin Anniversary

Ten years together. One-hundred-twenty months of wedded bliss. Seems like yesterday you tied the knot, said "I Do", then headed off to your honeymoon in the Catskills, or Niagara Falls, or maybe the Grand Canyon and Vegas. Ten years later, and you're wondering where did the time go? Traditionally, the tenth is celebrated as the 'tin' anniversary. The reason for this could be something exotic, such as the acknowledgment that tin is more durable than paper, used for the first year of marriage. Or it could be recognition that by ten years a couple's golden years are still a long way off. It could even be something as simple as the obvious connection between the words ten and tin. Who knows? The reality is, that in our culture, people recognize ten years with something crafted from tin. So what are some ideas for this? What tin items can be had, or created to salute ten years together? Here are tin (10) ideas to consider:
...6 Tin popcorn bowl. Remember that tin popcorn server you had when you were a kid? Go to E-Bay and look for one. I'm betting your spouse had one of those, too. He or she would love to fill it with buttery, fresh popcorn then sit in front of the TV and share ten years together with you. Recommendation for a movie? Try 'Ghost'. Just don't expect to make it through the pottery-wheel scene. Put the kids to bed first.
Read the complete article.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

The Correct Route

Is there a correct route? In life there are many ways to get from point A to point B. We've all known people who take the scenic route a.k.a. the long way 'round to get launched. Many of us were such kids and now we have kids of our own who insist on doing things their way, not paying much heed to our sage advice. Though finding our own way is truly a big part of life's journey. But how do we let go and let them carve their own path?
Much of it comes from trust, trusting the values you demonstrated will be sufficient.
Our kids absorbed our core values by watching us live them daily, just as we did with our families, good or bad. Now our children have to make their own way, their own mistakes and successes. Admittedly, it is hard to watch them take a step in what we feel is the wrong direction. Then again, what is the right direction? Understanding that there are many roads to travel, and though the path we took may be right for us, it may not be right for them. Beyond trusting ourselves to have parented well enough along the way, being there to listen, encourage, and yes lend a hand financially when we can, will bring some peace of mind.
Now, as an empty nest couple, preparing for the potential potholes will make the transition much smoother. You may find it helpful to explore your own past before launching into a discussion with your mate. Often, we need to understand our own feelings; what detours did you take that made you stronger, did you resent your parents/family/friends for their advice, are you guiding your kids based on old theory or real knowledge?
Once you've sorted through your personal feelings, discuss this together, giving each other uninterrupted time to speak. If you find part of the discussion anxiety-provoking, taking a walk while talking allows excess energy to be burnt in a positive way. Keep in mind this is new territory for both of you, unexpected fears and anxieties will surface, be as honest and open as you can. There isn't a right, wrong, or exact path that must be followed on this empty nest journey, the less strident you are, the easier it will be to navigate.
Make this a fun time, create new rituals, explore new places, take time to pamper each other. Enjoy your empty nest and all the freedoms it allows you.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Books Bind Us, Too

Book reading groups are a great way to bind us in marriage. It’s intuitive that, when two people spend time together doing intimate things, they tend to require more of that experience. Reading together is a fairly intimate way to spend time, given that one purpose of reading something is to share it with someone. Plus, if we can learn a lot from the subject matter someone reads, it stands to reason that a mate’s choice of books gives us an intimate look at who they are. These days, too, with the rising cost of doing anything, or going anywhere, and the limits placed on our pocketbooks, a reading group just makes sense. They are’ after all, free.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Empty Nest

The house even sounds empty, doesn’t it? You walk in and your footfall seems to echo; the sounds of the refrigerator clanking on startles you with its suddenness; imaginary kid sounds emanate from empty upstairs rooms. Pictures on the mantel stare back, and you remember when they were that age, and marvel at quickly time has passed. You miss your children: the laughter in the house; the hum of their constant presence; the palpable sensation that they are there, and that they need you. They were job one for as long as you can recall. Now they’re gone, and you miss them.
But there’s something else you miss. You miss each other; the easy interaction before the kids came along; the ability to throw a change of clothes and a toothbrush in a bag, jump in the car, tear away to New York, or San Francisco, or Kansas City for a long weekend, and never even think about the house, or pets, or kids. It was so easy, and you took for granted that it always would be. All you needed was a little cash, and a roadmap, and you were perfectly content. ...Read More

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Create Intimacy in Your Relationship

Being best friends with your mate can be one of the most rewarding relationships possible. Whether your relationship is brand new, or ages old, there's always room for growth to keep the love fire burning. Intimacy is an important part of all long term love affairs. However we're not talking about sexual intimacy here, though that's an important part of life. This intimacy comes from creating a 'secret' relationship that only the two of you share. Sideways glances across a room just to catch the others' eye, and a grin of knowing you belong to each other. A pat on shoulder, brushing against the other, or a peck on the cheek without any sexual requirement tied to it can build a stronger bond between you. Complimenting each other when you're out lets friends witness the great relationship you have, while encouraging them to do the same. You'll be surprised how other couples will want to be in your company, being positive is contagious.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Directionally Challenged

This is for all of those (others) out there who are directionally challenged too.
First some ground rules to get us started:
1) You CAN get to Gahanna from OSU by way of Bexley.
2) The sunset is readily visible driving WEST.
3) "Feeling" like you're driving in the right direction doesn't make it correct.
4) It does not help to keep driving when rule #3 is occurring.
The rest of the story:
My first "OMG I'm lost [again]" clue was when I arrived on the corner of High Street with the following posted signs: No Right Turn, No Left Turn, Detour AND the car in front of me sported the vanity plate NOWWUT. This is when I smiled & laughed out loud.

I appreciate Byron because, though he'll never understand how it happens, he's the first to say, "It's okay Mariah, there's more than one way to get home."

And when you're Caffected, there is no place like home.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Daily Dose of Caffection

Don't we all need a hug now and then? Okay, so we really need at least one a day, like the vitamin. A Caffection Vitamin encourages you to Live Life, Laugh Often, Love Much. Take one daily to provide encouragement, affirmation, love and support to the one who matters most in your life. Allows you to build a strong, vibrant, healthy relationship that will last a lifetime.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Resources Abound

Project: Noun. Mr Webster states this is a 'planned event', though some projects fall way outside the 'planned' concept. We're in the midst one of those 'projects' right now. We're changing web hosts for Caffection.com and have run into more than a few snags. Being true optimists, we didn't have far to look to find the good in the challenges. Here's three just for starters: 1) This has given us opportunity to implement ideas recommended by the many Caffection fans out there. 2) We've revisited some of the sites we list as resources and found they've also upgraded and improved their sites as well. Freedom to Marry has a dynamic page on legal marriage and HRC has a wedding registry for couples to share their excitement & joy. 3) As with any project, dusting & sprucing things up helps keep a site fresh and vibrant. Just like a good relationship, always finding new ways to show gratitude and affirmation. While we're pushing ahead, we appreciate your patience with some broken links and disheveled pages. The gain will be worth the pain.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Caffection Connection

As a Caffected Couple, making friends you both connect with is a great way to affirm your relationship (as well as the other couples'). Some fun ways to support each others' relationships are getting together for dinners, going to concerts or just playing cards. Though we can't believe it ourselves, the photo above was taken pool-side during a Christmas Eve celebration on Kauai with our friends Becky & Andy. We've all had friends that we hate to say good-bye to when life moves us on, yet staying connected over long distance and years is worth the time and effort.