Saturday, October 18, 2008

Spiritually Caffected Marriage

Being married to your best friend means different things to different people. It has a lot to do with where you are in your life. We have the perspective of an older, empty-nest couple. Our WE has a lot to do with enjoying each others' company, and wanting to be together. We select the people we hang out with accordingly.
Over time we've understood that there are many opportunities for tension and struggle in any relationship, and one of the big ones is kids. Too many people put their kids first in the marriage, and then watch as over time the kids become a wedge, a buffer in an increasingly tense relationship. We realized that couples need to be a bit selfish. They need to let the kids know that the marriage comes first, because for one thing it WAS first, for another, it needs to endure beyond the time the kids are in the nest, and yet another because they need the example of a committed, caffected marriage for their own pursuit of a relationship.

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