We've been blessed to meet, in person & virtually, many caffected couples who've shared their stories so we may pass them on to you. We're excited for the day when we begin receiving videos to place on the website as well. This touching story comes to us from T & W in Chicago.
My lover and I have been together for 17 years, which surprises us almost as much as it does people who assume gay marriages don't last. A lot of the credit for our longevity goes to a straight couple who befriended us very early in our relationship and gave us an amazing gift.
They told us to picture our relationship as a bowl we share. Every day, it's up to each of us to put something in the bowl. It can be anything--an act of kindness, a trinket, taking care of things so the other can sleep in, a lavish present... anything. The point is for each of us to never end a day without doing something especially for the other.
The bowl is impervious to disagreements, changing moods, etc. It must be attended to every day regardless of how we feel about each other. So many have been the times that I've not liked W very much, but my obligation to the bowl (i.e., our marriage) has compelled me to do something nice for him... and vice versa.
It's amazing how quickly frustrations and anger with your lover dissolve when, for instance, you wake up in the middle of the night and find a candy bar he's placed on your bed table.
Trust me, the bowl is a marvelous--sometimes miraculous--thing!