Passing It On

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Passing on your knowledge is another form of paying it forward. People are watching. They see you as an individual, and as a couple. It's good to understand the positive impact we can have on the 'yet-to-be' married people and act accordingly. Marriage is fun, interesting, and exciting. It's also worth every challenge involved in making it great. Making it Caffection! Surprised to hear us say 'challenge'? Life can be challenging, and relationships are no different. It's all about focus, because what you focus on, truly does expand. We choose to focus on the positives in life. We build our Caffection more each day by encouraging each other, doing small tasks for one another, smiling more than we frown and taking the time to write a note of encouragement. Today go out of your way to make your best friend's life easier. Today be aware that others' are learning from your example. Then smile, you're a marriage role model. Cool, very cool.

Caffection? What's All The Excitement?

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What is CAFFECTION?

It is an unmistakable bond with the love of your life. It's the most passionate, on-going, fun, energizing, magnificent relationship you can ever imagine. AND when you've got it, you Know it!

Connection + AFFECTION = CAFFECTION!

You also wish it for everyone you know. It IS fantastic to have what you have. The love you have is very cool. Everyone wants what you have. Enjoy it, be proud of it, share it.

Oscar Momentum

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In his Oscar acceptance speech last evening Sean Penn mentioned "the shame they continue to live in, they'll pass on to their children & grandchildren." He was referring to people in California who voted yes on Prop 8. Here's hoping Penn's Oscar win for his portrayal of Harvey Milk creates the kind of momentum needed to finally secure equal rights, including marriage equality for everyone, not just in California but across this nation. For our religious friends, it is time to listen to the founder of your liturgy, truly listen to what He said, unburden yourselves of your self-righteous hatred and bigotry and accept the simple truth that everyone, black, white, male, female, gay, straight deserves to love and be loved, and to marry who they love and cherish. It is time.

Journaling to Affirm

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It's true that we've written volumes to each other over the years, most of which has taken place in the most unlikely spot...our bed. The Journal Across The Sheets (JATS) has served many purposes during our 106+ month marriage. Our JATS has allowed us to jot things down before spouting off, log observations about current affairs, share goofy moments that happened during our day, ramble on about kids, work, or relatives without even talking. Just the activity of putting pen to paper helps us work through some issues in our own mind. This seems to make less of the problem before we even mention it. This alone is beneficial. But the real benefit is that we know there isn't anything we can't share with each other. That's a big part of being married to your best friend. There's no daylight between us, no secrets, no hidden agenda. Just you + me = WE. Actually, we've found the more random 'stuff' we write about, the closer we've become. If you're wondering if that's all we JATS about? It's true, the bulk of our writing is just 'stuff', but make no mistake, it IS written in bed by two adults who respect, honor and adore each other in the best Caffected relationship possible. Do you know a couple who seemed to suddenly, out of the blue, crumble on the rocks, their marriage foundering without any explanation or warning? It's possible a journal such as our JATS may have prevented their unforeseen marital catastrophe. These days with so much electronic & other interference in our lives, writing to each other seems quaint, almost naive. But if it works to keep people together in the quiet of their bedroom, it's more than worth the effort. And who knows what may happen after you put the pen down?

Marriage Rituals

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We often ask people what rituals they have. Things such as license plates for their cars, wine glasses they always drink from, special treats they get each other often. Many give us a confused stare, followed by a bit of dancing around the topic when we explain ourselves in greater detail. But usually most couples do have rituals they enjoy, and we'd like to have everyone send us a couple of theirs so we can compile a Caffected Couples Ritual list. We'd love to have you send pictures too!