Tuesday, October 21, 2008


Here's another benefit to being caffected.  Your kids see how you interact with each other, and they want that, too.  There's likely no better way to boost a person's self-esteem than to reinforce to them how beautiful, how precious they are to you.  Caffected couples say it often, leaving no ambiguity.  We say it to each other--"I love you", or "I'm glad you're mine."  And here's the thing--we mean it.  When our kids see that open tenderness and affection they naturally want the same for themselves, and more and more they decide they won't settle for less.  According to the book Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work, by John Gottman, MD, and webmd, there's no reason to pick at each other for insignificant things like toilet paper rolls, toothpaste tubes and the like.  There's too much tension, bitterness and strife in many relationships.  Kids see that, too, and instead of judging it wrong or odd, somehow, they often assume it's normal behavior.  We should never be afraid to announce our feelings of gratitude and affection for our mate.  Married best friends have a responsibility to expose that side of themselves, and allow their status to flourish.   

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