Wallet Issues

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Jackie Mason famously said "I have enough money to last the rest of my life--unless I buy something." Joking aside, most of the world's woes seem to center around money, and specifically the lack of it. Which brings us to today's topic, and in a timely fashion, because we also address the state, and the State of California, which is on the drop edge of being flat broke, as in insolvent. Why bring this up just now? California has also recently (infamously) reasserted the discriminatory stance of marginalizing an entire segment of their population. This got us to wondering how much it costs to have all those county clerks processing all those marriage licenses. Bear with me here. It costs $45.00 to get married in California. Now the document, even with all its seals, stamps and other froo-frah, likely costs a buck, tops. So $44.00 of the cost is clerical--overhead on the courthouse, the clerk's time, various recorder's times, and perhaps a bit of time for someone to file things nice and neat. There were 225,700 marriage licenses issued in California in 2007. Tot that up, and it equals about $10,000,000. Not a lot of dough. But here's the thing. If 18,000 gays married while the law was actually sane and reasonable, there's a potential for a lot more support at the county clerk's office without such obstacles as prop 8. And if gays leave California to marry, that revenue is lost, gone, adios. And that doesn't mention catering fees.

Memorial Day

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This memorial day weekend, let's all take a few minutes and think about what the day means to us here in America, and indeed what it means to be an American. Memorial Day was set aside originally to honor fallen troops of the American Civil War. Prior to that, wars had been fought for land, for women, for money, for the simple projection of power. Our Civil War was the first war in history fought for an idea. That idea, our 'National Creed', that, 'all men are created equal', is such a simple, powerful message that its implication has generated numerous additional, albeit less bloody and destructive civil wars continuing to the present day.
So here's what it means to us to be an American: it means recognizing that the single most powerful word in our National Creed is this--ALL. Until everyone is able to embrace that word, to understand that ALL means what it says, our civil wars will go on toward that more perfect union we aspire to be. So let's also memorialize those--Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, Harvey Milk, Margaret Sanger, and all others who devoted their lives to that single, powerful word--ALL. And enjoy your holiday.

Willing to DARE

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The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.
The sure-thing boat never gets 
far from the shore.
Dale Carnegie

PDAs

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This snippet is taken from our soon to be published new book Appreciative Loving. It's part of chapter 2, in reference to public displays of affection.

'One thing we experience from people who encounter us in our public life is a sense of disbelief. Why is that? People have an automatic response to anything that challenges their perceptions and experience. We have to confess that our relationship does that, a lot. We take a fair amount of heat for our open expressions of joy in each others’ company, the simple but heartfelt expressions of love and care we use with each other, regardless of where we are or who is watching. More than once we’ve been advised to ‘get a room’ as they say.
Not to say we’re openly demonstrative to the point of indecency; that’s certainly not us. Indeed, our public interaction is quite the opposite; we elicit stares from other couples because we’re openly tender and caring, not in-your-face tactile like a couple of hormonal teens. But the reactions we elicit are a bit sad in any case. Where is it written that two adults should refrain from showing love and affection for each other? It’s been written and said too many times that the public marketplace is filled with displays of violence and abuse, and our collective response to that is quiet resignation. But if two people, especially two adults, skip along a sidewalk together, or kiss in public beyond the accepted time limit (somewhere between 2 and 2.6 seconds, near as we can figure), others become dismissive and embarrassed.'

If you've experienced such reactions, we'd like to hear about them.

Caffected Wealth

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Being in a caffected relationship you have a lot of trust in your mate. There are many kinds of wealth, which is why we commonly acknowledge: Wealth is Freedom. If you're scratching your head, wondering what are they talking about, let us elaborate a bit. A strong relationship can bring rich rewards, emotional, physical and yes, monetary. When you create a trusting bond you're able to discuss important issues and concerns more openly, without fear of retaliation or scrutiny. When you can agree on how to manage your finances together you're building a foundation of trust. Due to recent economic trends, retail therapy is becoming exposed for what it is, a substitute for genuine happiness in a relationship. It's more obvious than ever that a Caffected bond doesn't just promise wealth, it actually delivers it.