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Celebrate Your Relationship

Caffection.com

Our mission is to energize relationships, and celebrate an elite status--Caffection! We believe in affirming positive vibrant relationships.
Being in an intimate relationship with the person you're closest to in the world is incredibly romantic. It's sexy as hell. Just walking down the street together holding hands people notice how attractive you are, and they want it, too.
Our mission at Caffection is to bring light to the fact that fabulous long-term relationships can (and do) happen. A call to all Caffected couples, let's stand up and be the role models our society needs today.

Awake With Appreciation

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What wonderful thing, waking each morning with the person you love (and LIKE too).
Take a deep breathe in, touch their warmth and whisper words of gratitude to yourself. If your mate is in the drowsy awake period, they'll hear your comforting words. Knowing they feel the same increases your connection to your each other. Savor your fabulous relationship by remembering this moment later in the day, and smile.

Happy Marriages

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Happy marriages are innovative, fresh, surprising. They create, by their very nature, the ongoing happy challenge of 'getting there first' in the marriage with a heretofore unexperienced gift, acknowledgement, or titillation. It's the hidden note card in a spouse's luggage, a flower delivery at the office for no reason, the preparation of a favorite meal when they least expect it. Happy marriage is the tender greeting, with words that penetrate a spouse's soul because of their delivery, and the depth of their feeling. Happy marriage is attention through focused listening, the almost lost art of truly hearing what the spouse is saying--or not saying. Happy marriage is the ability to anticipate what a spouse will do, say, want, need and ask for next, and the ability to provide it. Happy marriage is...happy, because it's a recognition that a spouse is happy, and, maturity being required, it's knowing we're only part of the union. Happy marriage is its own reward, and our ability to change that keeps it fresh. Read more...

House Concert Tom Goss

Join us for a house concert with singer-songwriter Tom Goss!

Make a Smilebox invite

Falling in Love

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A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Mignon McLaughlin

Appreciating Housework

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It's true, you can find fun ways to keep your relationship vibrant. Soon you'll enjoy making the mudane household tasks interesting with these simple ideas. Next time you're putting the laundry away leave a shmily note in a sock or in a coffee cup when unloading the dishwasher. The anticipation of their expression when it's found, makes it worth the wait. Making the ordinary, extraordinary with a smiley-faced breakfast or fixing their favorite meal for no reason at all.
Imagine making housework fun or even sexy! iVillage recently released a survey with results which reveal how sharing chores can build a relationship. Everyone loves to be appreciated and acknowledged. Alisa Bowman has a very clever thought, make housework a new kind of foreplay
to encourage chore-sharing. Finding new ways to show appreciative loving is just a google away. Coming up 7th (in over 4 million sites) marriage suite 101 brings us these insights from author Genna Cockerham.

Fun in Your Great Long-Term Relationship

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Coming to your wedding in comfy shoes is a great start to any marriage. Life's too short to get married in tight shoes. Find fun ways to celebrate your love every single day. Just like Tracey & Conrad, (the couple in the shoes above) and Jill & Kevin, (check out their wedding dance (video) realize, life's not a dress rehearsal; it's the real thing. Our friends at What Happy Couples Do discuss the value of creating distinct rituals only the two of you share, and we whole-heartedly agree. We frequently blog on the importance of the bonding aspect of your relationship.

Though this seems intuitive, many people don't routinely do what we've come to call "Appreciative Loving". We've found when we take the time to appreciate and acknowledge the small things we do for each other, our relationship blooms. The more you give, the more you receive. It's very cool, it's fun, and it will enrich your relationship.
As Denise Quinlan notes in her recent article, "Positive relationships support development and learning, and they make us happy in the long-term." Building your relationship based on love, respect and trust will assure you a life-long, strong bond.
We've also enjoyed finding friends who share our appreciative loving concept. Couples who support this idea are positive people who enjoy building each other up. They surround themselves with other couples who do this as well, thus creating a circle of friends of Caffection.

Appreciation

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Find a new way to appreciate each other everyday. You never know when a fun note may show up in your lunch bag or your sock. Go on walks together, skip or even lop. Compliment each other, smile, do a favor. It keeps your love alive and well. And ACK... always choose kind.

The Marriage Pavlov, Reinforce the Good

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Being a happy couple is part of life, when you choose it. We choose a positive outlook on life every single day and with that comes the choice to be married to our best friend. We say it over and over, both in actions and in words. "I love you." "Thank you for being mine." "Thank you for being so good to me." "I love being with you." The list goes on and on. We understand the value of focusing on the good things, and we know what we focus on expands.
An amazing thing occurred once we began the ritual of "catching" each other enriching our caffection, we started complimenting each other often. This had a snowball effect, the more we gave, the more we received. The marriage Pavlov on steroids, positive enforcement of a wonderful thing: Caffection! Try it. You'll be surprised how quickly being positive becomes the rule, not the exception. You'll enjoy a new dynamic in your relationship just by paying each other compliments.
Soon you'll have a positive outlook on life and you'll be so proud of it!

Love, Commitment and Caffection

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We attended a beautiful wedding last weekend. Two people who are obviously caffected, in every sense of the word. There's nothing they wouldn't do for each other and it shows. We understand this feeling of commitment, concern and love. It's an appreciation for one another that grows deeper everyday and can last a lifetime if nurtured properly.
We routinely send cards (now you can even send e-cards), leave each other notes, look up fun & romantic places to travel. We do simple things, such read and make meals together (and clean up the kitchen). Just knowing the other is there to help or lend a hand adds value to our relationship.
What do you do to build your bond?

Create a Reading Ritual

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Book reading groups are a great way to bind us in marriage. It's intuitive that, when two people spend time together doing intimate things, they tend to require more of that experience. Reading together is a fairly intimate way to spend time, given that one purpose of reading something is to share it with someone. Plus, if we can learn a lot from the subject matter someone reads, it stands to reason that a mate's choice of books gives us an intimate look at who they are. These days, too, with the rising cost of doing anything, or going anywhere, and the limits placed on our pocketbooks, a reading group just makes sense. They are, after all, free. There are a number of these on-line reading groups available, with names like Shelfari, and GoodReads, ReadingGroupChoices etc. These groups offer all sorts of interesting, engaging ideas for married couples. My wife and I are enrolled at GoodReads, for instance. GoodReads has a dazzling display of book offerings, from literally thousands of books to read, commentary about most of them, some from expert reviewers, some from novices such as us, and a five star rating system. The site has a newsletter, a portal that allows us to track the books we've read, and another to finally record those we've always wanted to read but keep forgetting, even while we're standing in the library surrounded by books.
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Good Reads

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One of our favorite pastimes is reading. We recently became reacquainted with a website which helps us track the books we've read. A friend recommended Goodreads to us last year. Now instead of saying, "We really should write down the books we've read." We say, "Did you put that on "Goodreads?" If you're readers like we are, you'll enjoy it too. Let us know what you're reading, or better yet add Caffection as a Goodread friend. See you there.

The Caffection Continues

CAFFECTION.COM

One year ago today the Caffection website resource commenced. In those 12 months we've met many wonderful couples interested in celebrating their relationship while building a stronger bond. It's an exciting time of growth here at Caffection as we develop new ideas suggested by Caffected couples around the world. Couples like you! This year we'll be encouraging couples to spread the word about how wonderful a Caffected relationship is.
Thanks for a great first year!

Below is the blog message of October 3, 2008:
CAFFECTION.COM is a real live website! YES! After several months, and long, tedious, tender tendering, our caffected couples website is up and running. It’s very much like sending one’s child out into the world. Take a peek at Caffection.com and you’re bound to find something there of interest to you, to help celebrate your caffected relationship.
We feel compelled to reiterate here on our launch announcement just what our mission statement is:
Our mission is to energize relationships, and celebrate an elite status--Married Best Friends. Caffection is the brand for married friendship. We believe in marriage. We believe those who choose to marry should be married to their best friend. Con't.

HAPPY OCTOBER!

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A chill in the air and leaves dropping off the trees signals it's time to get ready for winter. Fall is a good time to work together to get the many items done to prepare the house & yard for the oncoming winter. The tasks at hand tend to be routine and sometimes burdensome, however creating a new ritual out of it can lighten the load and make fall something to look forward to each year. This year we're discussing what color to paint the house in the spring, be sure to let us know if you have any suggestions.
And send along any fall rituals you look forward to as well.

Tin Anniversary

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Ten years together. One-hundred-twenty months of wedded bliss. Seems like yesterday you tied the knot, said "I Do", then headed off to your honeymoon in the Catskills, or Niagara Falls, or maybe the Grand Canyon and Vegas. Ten years later, and you're wondering where did the time go? Traditionally, the tenth is celebrated as the 'tin' anniversary. The reason for this could be something exotic, such as the acknowledgment that tin is more durable than paper, used for the first year of marriage. Or it could be recognition that by ten years a couple's golden years are still a long way off. It could even be something as simple as the obvious connection between the words ten and tin. Who knows? The reality is, that in our culture, people recognize ten years with something crafted from tin. So what are some ideas for this? What tin items can be had, or created to salute ten years together? Here are tin (10) ideas to consider:
...6 Tin popcorn bowl. Remember that tin popcorn server you had when you were a kid? Go to E-Bay and look for one. I'm betting your spouse had one of those, too. He or she would love to fill it with buttery, fresh popcorn then sit in front of the TV and share ten years together with you. Recommendation for a movie? Try 'Ghost'. Just don't expect to make it through the pottery-wheel scene. Put the kids to bed first.
Read the complete article.

The Correct Route

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Is there a correct route? In life there are many ways to get from point A to point B. We've all known people who take the scenic route a.k.a. the long way 'round to get launched. Many of us were such kids and now we have kids of our own who insist on doing things their way, not paying much heed to our sage advice. Though finding our own way is truly a big part of life's journey. But how do we let go and let them carve their own path?
Much of it comes from trust, trusting the values you demonstrated will be sufficient.
Our kids absorbed our core values by watching us live them daily, just as we did with our families, good or bad. Now our children have to make their own way, their own mistakes and successes. Admittedly, it is hard to watch them take a step in what we feel is the wrong direction. Then again, what is the right direction? Understanding that there are many roads to travel, and though the path we took may be right for us, it may not be right for them. Beyond trusting ourselves to have parented well enough along the way, being there to listen, encourage, and yes lend a hand financially when we can, will bring some peace of mind.
Now, as an empty nest couple, preparing for the potential potholes will make the transition much smoother. You may find it helpful to explore your own past before launching into a discussion with your mate. Often, we need to understand our own feelings; what detours did you take that made you stronger, did you resent your parents/family/friends for their advice, are you guiding your kids based on old theory or real knowledge?
Once you've sorted through your personal feelings, discuss this together, giving each other uninterrupted time to speak. If you find part of the discussion anxiety-provoking, taking a walk while talking allows excess energy to be burnt in a positive way. Keep in mind this is new territory for both of you, unexpected fears and anxieties will surface, be as honest and open as you can. There isn't a right, wrong, or exact path that must be followed on this empty nest journey, the less strident you are, the easier it will be to navigate.
Make this a fun time, create new rituals, explore new places, take time to pamper each other. Enjoy your empty nest and all the freedoms it allows you.

Books Bind Us, Too

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Book reading groups are a great way to bind us in marriage. It’s intuitive that, when two people spend time together doing intimate things, they tend to require more of that experience. Reading together is a fairly intimate way to spend time, given that one purpose of reading something is to share it with someone. Plus, if we can learn a lot from the subject matter someone reads, it stands to reason that a mate’s choice of books gives us an intimate look at who they are. These days, too, with the rising cost of doing anything, or going anywhere, and the limits placed on our pocketbooks, a reading group just makes sense. They are’ after all, free.

Empty Nest

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The house even sounds empty, doesn’t it? You walk in and your footfall seems to echo; the sounds of the refrigerator clanking on startles you with its suddenness; imaginary kid sounds emanate from empty upstairs rooms. Pictures on the mantel stare back, and you remember when they were that age, and marvel at quickly time has passed. You miss your children: the laughter in the house; the hum of their constant presence; the palpable sensation that they are there, and that they need you. They were job one for as long as you can recall. Now they’re gone, and you miss them.
But there’s something else you miss. You miss each other; the easy interaction before the kids came along; the ability to throw a change of clothes and a toothbrush in a bag, jump in the car, tear away to New York, or San Francisco, or Kansas City for a long weekend, and never even think about the house, or pets, or kids. It was so easy, and you took for granted that it always would be. All you needed was a little cash, and a roadmap, and you were perfectly content. ...Read More

Create Intimacy in Your Relationship

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Being best friends with your mate can be one of the most rewarding relationships possible. Whether your relationship is brand new, or ages old, there's always room for growth to keep the love fire burning. Intimacy is an important part of all long term love affairs. However we're not talking about sexual intimacy here, though that's an important part of life. This intimacy comes from creating a 'secret' relationship that only the two of you share. Sideways glances across a room just to catch the others' eye, and a grin of knowing you belong to each other. A pat on shoulder, brushing against the other, or a peck on the cheek without any sexual requirement tied to it can build a stronger bond between you. Complimenting each other when you're out lets friends witness the great relationship you have, while encouraging them to do the same. You'll be surprised how other couples will want to be in your company, being positive is contagious.