We have a ritual we try to remember every morning, like brushing teeth, and turning on the coffee pot. We focus on what we're passionate about--creating a resource for married best friends--caffection. We recite it by rote, and brand it into our memory. Part of that ritual mentions the trust we have that people will be there for us, helping us along, getting us where we need to be. Native Americans had an expression--"don't push the river, it runs all by itself". With our morning rite we let the river run, knowing that regardless what the issue is--good or bad--if we relax and allow things to work out, they typically do, and usually far better than they would have with our frantic urging.
This relaxed acceptance isn't the same as total resignation, far from it. Without a lot of attention to detail, and action, and energy, not much gets done. But it's the over-controlling and failure to listen to the little man on our shoulder that drives us down blind alleys sometimes. The river really does run all by itself.