Saturday, May 31, 2008

Romantic Exclusivity

There's a romantic notion that we humans are monogamous by nature.  And there is something to the idea of being totally committed, completely exclusive to one other person.  Alan Alda once said of his long-term marriage to his wife that one of the sexiest things he knows is an older couple walking hand in hand.  That's caffection.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Romance Language

Why is it that we associate love and affection with 'romantic' people?  After all, Romantics are just folks who happen to live in and around what used to be called the Roman Empire.  Romance languages are of similar origin--Italian, Spanish, Romanian, Portuguese and Catalan.  These so-called Neolatin tongues are all descended from ancient Latin.  But why love (amor) & affection (from affectare--to move)? Maybe that's the answer?  Try saying Amor without a warm feeling.  And to 'Affect' something is to move it, such as your beloved.  To 'Caffect' them, you move them with Care.  It's a whole new Romance language.

Thursday, May 29, 2008


Me & You... I do!  
I think about you day & night, it's only right, to think about the one you love & hold 'em tight...

It's true, when you're caffected you do think about everything you do (or don't do) with your better half in mind.  Now imagine hanging out with other caffected couples who think with that mindset, it makes for great company.  
Oscar Wilde said, "Give me the luxuries of life, I'll dispense with the necessities."

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Chocolate Caffection

A picture's worth a thousand words.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008


If Caffection was a car, it would be the new SMART fortwo Passion (yes, that really is its name).  This vehicle has it all--for two people who really cherish each other: 2 seats, very close together, 2 ways to drive it, 2 seat warmers, 2 models, and too cute.  For two people to lop around town in, or even for day trips, it's perfect.   

Monday, May 26, 2008

Mission Statement

We believe in marriage. We believe everyone who chooses to marry should be married to their best friend. Those who would deny to certain individuals the pleasure, self-fulfillment, spiritual enrichment and basic human desire to connect with another person may have reservations about some of the depictions in our work. Christ said "judge not, lest ye be judged." We'll say it again: we believe in marriage to your best friend. It is not for any of us to decide who may take this wonderful, blissful, satisfying journey called caffection, and who may not. Our belief is that the one thing the world needs more of is love, and less of judgement and self-righteous intolerance. Every human being deserves to love and be loved according to their own definitions and desires. Caffection has no race, religion, creed, gender, age or other bias. Thank you for reading our blog, and all we offer in caffection. We hope you're married to your best friend.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Smooth Sailing

Love, respect, honesty & trust are the cornerstones for caffected couples. The ebb & flow of life's challenges can render any relationship vulnerable to storms which most couples endure. Caffected couples find ways to navigate around them, instead of through them, arriving at your harbor unscathed. Just as inspecting the sails and promptly mending them when you notice a breech in the fabric is an excellent preventive maintenance technique; taking time to share the details of your day with one another (inspecting your sails together), allows you to address issues before there's a problem. Trusting each other enough to be honest, even with the tough issues, strengthens your caffected bond.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Energy Management

Keeping a marriage fresh & vibrant takes a combination of fun, love, patience, understanding, appreciation, support, respect, and, yes, a little work.  JFK said the time to work on the roof is when the sun is shining.  Just so, the time to work on your marriage is during the good times.  
An important part of a caffected relationship is making time for each other, not just the leftover pieces of your day.  'Quality time' is a cliche, but there's a particle of truth to it.  Love requires positive energy management to not only sustain itself, but to grow and prosper. 

Friday, May 23, 2008


Another memorial day, and another opportunity to create a meme. It's from the Latin word for remember, of course, and it's used as a shortcut, a memory jogger. Some common meme's are: "got milk?" and "30 minutes or it's free" and "Got caffection?"

This Memorial Day let's remember to tell everybody you love that--you love them! There's a meme---"I love you"

Wednesday, May 21, 2008


The way we talk to each other matters.  The way we talk to ourselves matters even more.  If we want to remain caffected with our spouse, it wouldn't hurt to stay that way with ourselves.  Think about the way you start your day.  Do you grumble and whine when the alarm goes off?  And the last thing you say to yourself at night--is it positive?  Or do you dread the coming of the following day?  Our brains actually release a powerful chemical depending on the way we react to things.  Words can elicit these reactions, thus the chemical changes that determine our moods and behavior.  Words matter.  

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


We tend to be a bit jaded these days.  If our daily experience doesn't include a bit of fireworks, or at least a minor thrill of some kind we're disappointed.  Like thrill junkies we take for granted the most astonishing things: a masterpiece called a tulip; the refreshing laughter of children; a smile in the checkout line freely given.  These are things we ought to celebrate.  Just so, our marriage is a one in a billion proposition.  Imagine two people finding each other in the confusion and cacophony of modern life, falling in love, and vowing to stay together through all life's joys and disappointments.  That's a lot like tulips and laughter and smiles, things to celebrate.

Love Light

Take time to connect with each other during the day using email, phone or just sending positive thoughts your mate's way.   When you're reunited, share something you appreciated about them today.  This strengthens your bond, and keeps your love light burning.   

Monday, May 19, 2008


Until we really believe in convergence, and the simple power of letting the river flow we'll continue to try to 'arrange' things.  It's simple human nature to want and need control over our lives, so it's very difficult to just let go.  But look back at the past several months or years at the things that have worked out without your input and you'll be amazed.  And here's an insight that we had to take on faith which has proven true time and again.  Being caffected allows us to let go more easily, and to marvel at the convergences in our lives.  The benefits are countless.  

Saturday, May 17, 2008


We were once told you only had to do two things every single day:  find joy and breathe.  The breathing part is a given but the joy, well that's another story.  Initially we said, "Find Joy?"  However once we tuned into what brought us joy and made an effort to create joyful experiences our lives began to change for the better.  Begin to seek one positive in every situation.  It's true there is something good, miniscule as it may be, in everything.  Take the time to praise each other, give thanks and appreciation, and help one another find the good in seemingly bad situations.  You'll grow as a couple and draw other positive couples to your circle of friends.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Energy Crunch?

There is no energy crunch, although it would be a dandy name for a candy bar! Just witnessing our very own symphony make its way through Bolero last night convinces anyone that after love and respect, energy is the most important part of any relationship. Energize your mate in any of several ways, and every day is a new day.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Give Care

I wish a love like ours for everyone. I AM truly blessed and I give you care. MTML

"Take Care" what we say when old friends, family members, neighbors, even strangers leave us. "Take care," we say without a thought. Should we instead say "Give care"? It sounds odd, but if we always take we eventually need more than there is to give. Caffection implies giving instead of taking, so next time you depart, tell your caffected partner to 'give care' and see what they say. Gotta love a language that allows such latitude.
Give care today, and you'll take all the care you need.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Love Rituals

Can you list all your love rituals?  Wondering, "What is a love ritual?"  Love rituals are things you share as a couple.  As simple as a peck on the cheek when you greet each other to big things such as an annual anniversary trip.  The key thing about rituals is focusing your time and energy on your mate, your best friend!  Making time for your best friend lets them know just how important they are to you.
As you might have guessed, the higher your number the more caffected you're likely to be.  

Tuesday, May 13, 2008


Have you ever had a disconnect, or whole days when you were 'offline'? Relationships can be like that, too. Work schedules, kids, travel, household stuff can seem like the priority, when you know what the really important thing is, staying 'on-line' with your best pal. Try rebooting your relationship with the software of appreciation, the caffection program that always works.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Destination: Home

There's a reason the windshield is 8 square feet and the rearview mirror is only 8 square inches: Keeping focused on what's ahead instead of behind, learning from the past, not bringing old baggage with us is the only way to arrive at our destination.
When traveling together people know you're married to your best friend just by your body language. Staring from across a room, touching lightly, standing close together, the way you gaze at each other, all these things announce your status as a caffected couple. Take pride in celebrating your elite position. Make your mate your destination, and you'll always find your way home.

Thursday, May 8, 2008


Remember when we were kids and we'd jump out of bed, throw on yesterday's clothes, slam down a bowl of Cheerios and race next door to our best friend's house? When they threw open the door, what's the first thing we'd say? That's right. Wanna come out and play?
We need more of that spirit, that unself-conscious, energetic, exhilirating playful time. And caffected couples like us have it a lot. Maybe those kids had it right? Caffection is there all the time; we just need to be in touch with it.
Wanna come out and play?

Wednesday, May 7, 2008


Imagine me & you, I do! I think about you day & night, it's only right...

Remember how mysterious, intriguing and fun flirting used to be? Guess what, it still is! So go for it. Flirting with your best friend, your spouse, is a great way to stay connected and keep that spark alive. Steal a seductive glance across the room, brush playfully up against them while doing daily tasks, tuck a love note in their lunch bag. Whatever it is, make it fun and make it often.
Knowing you're married to your best friend keeps the caffection alive!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008


Yes, it is alluring to wake up beside your best friend every morning. When you wake up and it's already a great day life is good. That's the definition of alluring, which is the definition of enviable, which is the definition of caffection.
Thanks, love, for all the great days.

Monday, May 5, 2008

May is Caffection month

June is marriage month. This is based on an ancient impulse that helped the species survive. Marriage in June produced offspring nine months later, in March or April when the weather turned more temperate, thus giving our young a chance to grow and strengthen before their first winter chill.
Just so, May is caffection month. A June marriage would then be eleven months old. Having survived a summer of exciting discovery, a fall of gentle adjustment, and a winter of settling in, a new couple could have a pre-anniversary in May to consider their new union. In May they could review their first year of strengthening and growing together, and discover that what they have is called caffection.

Saturday, May 3, 2008


Caffection sounds sweet, sticky and intriguing. And it is. Being happily coupled with your best friend has many advantages. One of my favorites is the comfort I draw in the rituals we have as a couple, such as spending time together with other caffected couples.  This affirms and energizes our relationship as well as theirs.  It's great good fun.

Friday, May 2, 2008


As we've read in "Who Moved My Cheese" one thing in life is certain -- change is inevitable. As a new iMac user (post PC) I'm in the midst of a major change. I'm sure it's for the best in the long run, but today I'm leaning on my mate to shore up my patience and give me support during this computer transition. That's what best friends do.


That's what Caffection can be. No hyperbole about it, the concept of being married to your best pal can be more than a happy situation; it can be a way of life. Waking up is better. Sharing meals is better. Working toward a common goal is way better. And tucking each other in at night is way, way better.
Caffection can even be a wonderful long-term security blanket in economic terms. Happily married couples rarely find themselves in financial trouble. We don't need the all too common retail therapy that pervades society, so by and large caffected couples have more discretionary income, less debt, more economic latitude, and much more financial freedom. It's hard to find a down side to caffection. That's because...there isn't one.