CAFFECTION

Coming to your wedding in comfy shoes is a great start to any marriage. Life's too short to get married in tight shoes. Find fun ways to celebrate your love every single day. Just like Tracey & Conrad, (the couple in the shoes above) and Jill & Kevin, (check out their wedding dance (video) realize, life's not a dress rehearsal; it's the real thing. Our friends at What Happy Couples Do discuss the value of creating distinct rituals only the two of you share, and we whole-heartedly agree. We frequently blog on the importance of the bonding aspect of your relationship.

Though this seems intuitive, many people don't routinely do what we've come to call "Appreciative Loving". We've found when we take the time to appreciate and acknowledge the small things we do for each other, our relationship blooms. The more you give, the more you receive. It's very cool, it's fun, and it will enrich your relationship.
As Denise Quinlan notes in her recent article, "Positive relationships support development and learning, and they make us happy in the long-term." Building your relationship based on love, respect and trust will assure you a life-long, strong bond.
We've also enjoyed finding friends who share our appreciative loving concept. Couples who support this idea are positive people who enjoy building each other up. They surround themselves with other couples who do this as well, thus creating a circle of friends of Caffection.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

The Caffection Continues

CAFFECTION.COM

One year ago today the Caffection website resource commenced. In those 12 months we've met many wonderful couples interested in celebrating their relationship while building a stronger bond. It's an exciting time of growth here at Caffection as we develop new ideas suggested by Caffected couples around the world. Couples like you! This year we'll be encouraging couples to spread the word about how wonderful a Caffected relationship is.
Thanks for a great first year!

Below is the blog message of October 3, 2008:
CAFFECTION.COM is a real live website! YES! After several months, and long, tedious, tender tendering, our caffected couples website is up and running. It’s very much like sending one’s child out into the world. Take a peek at Caffection.com and you’re bound to find something there of interest to you, to help celebrate your caffected relationship.
We feel compelled to reiterate here on our launch announcement just what our mission statement is:
Our mission is to energize relationships, and celebrate an elite status--Married Best Friends. Caffection is the brand for married friendship. We believe in marriage. We believe those who choose to marry should be married to their best friend. Con't.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Tin Anniversary

Ten years together. One-hundred-twenty months of wedded bliss. Seems like yesterday you tied the knot, said "I Do", then headed off to your honeymoon in the Catskills, or Niagara Falls, or maybe the Grand Canyon and Vegas. Ten years later, and you're wondering where did the time go? Traditionally, the tenth is celebrated as the 'tin' anniversary. The reason for this could be something exotic, such as the acknowledgment that tin is more durable than paper, used for the first year of marriage. Or it could be recognition that by ten years a couple's golden years are still a long way off. It could even be something as simple as the obvious connection between the words ten and tin. Who knows? The reality is, that in our culture, people recognize ten years with something crafted from tin. So what are some ideas for this? What tin items can be had, or created to salute ten years together? Here are tin (10) ideas to consider:
...6 Tin popcorn bowl. Remember that tin popcorn server you had when you were a kid? Go to E-Bay and look for one. I'm betting your spouse had one of those, too. He or she would love to fill it with buttery, fresh popcorn then sit in front of the TV and share ten years together with you. Recommendation for a movie? Try 'Ghost'. Just don't expect to make it through the pottery-wheel scene. Put the kids to bed first.
Read the complete article.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Caffection Connection

As a Caffected Couple, making friends you both connect with is a great way to affirm your relationship (as well as the other couples'). Some fun ways to support each others' relationships are getting together for dinners, going to concerts or just playing cards. Though we can't believe it ourselves, the photo above was taken pool-side during a Christmas Eve celebration on Kauai with our friends Becky & Andy. We've all had friends that we hate to say good-bye to when life moves us on, yet staying connected over long distance and years is worth the time and effort.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Self-Denial & Marriage

Once in a while the opportunity arises to think of our spouse instead of ourselves. These fleeting chances don’t come along very often, but when they do, and if we grab them, the warm and fuzzy feeling it infuses in our marriage makes it worth whatever the cost. Here are a few examples of events and opportunities we can look for to deny our own needs and wants inside our relationship, and to enhance the quality of our marriage with very little effort.

We’ve heard for years that role reversal can be a distressing thing, that when we step outside our assigned spot we invite all manner of disruption and discord. But what if we made the reversal something of a routine, thereby lessening its impact? Say we take turns cooking, or making grocery rounds, or even getting the car, lawn mower, furnace and/or air conditioner serviced. None of those items require a specific gender marker, and our mate will be astonished if we step outside ourselves, get over whatever squeamishness we may have about any of the tasks listed above and, as the ad says, “Just do it!” The look on their face will be priceless.

Ask them what they wish we’d stop doing. This one’s tough; we have to be able to listen--we did ask, after all--and what they tell us may not be easy to hear. But they’ll appreciate the gesture, and my guess is, that every couple has things they’d like to discuss with each other about minor irritants (or not so minor). My other guess is that we already know the answer, and we’re just getting them to confirm what we suspect. In any case, the conversation is always helpful, just for the communication if nothing else. Plus, then you get to tell them something!

Don’t be afraid to solicit advice and ideas from close friends. Since we started our marriage website, my wife and I have been amazed at the number of couples who seem almost embarrassed to celebrate their marriage. This self-consciousness about being together is pervasive, and, we believe, corrosive to relationships. Asking others what works for them in terms of rituals, time together, bonding and communicating may elicit stares and stammering from other couples, but it may produce some gems, too. We’ve been pleasantly surprised at our seminars at the great ideas couples have for sharing their love and commitment to each other. The other gratifying thing we’ve learned is that couples with similar values, views, and energy levels attract each other. And it works both ways: negative, acerbic couples seem to enjoy sharing their harsh view of the world; positive, upbeat couples hang with those who share their optimistic, positive view.

Some years ago Carly Simon sang about ‘Anticipation’. The song was atop the charts for several weeks, and is still heard from time to time. It’s likely that no single effort endears people to each other more in relationships than the simple act of anticipating the others’ needs. Many times I’ve been able to enjoy the look on my wife’s face when, as she enters our home after work, the exact meal she hoped would be on the table actually is there waiting for her. It’s moments like these that make a marriage endure. And it’s all about anticipation. In addition, the effort seems to be not only contagious, it also appears to be self-perpetuating. Call it marital telepathy: the more we anticipate our partner’s needs and wants, the easier it is to do the same next time. After awhile it seems to come naturally, like reading each other’s minds. It can get downright eerie after a string of such occurrences. Any number of times my wife and I have experienced a similar urge to call each other with specific information, prepared a favorite meal we knew they’d want, or made arrangements to see or do something to please them--well before they asked for it. This could be a rather subjective method of determining the potential for longevity in a marriage: after a year, see how well the pair reads the others’ thoughts, and judge from that. Instead of the newlywed game, call it perhaps the first anniversary game instead, at which time the exercise can be performed, and a score tallied.

Finally, not so much self-denial as distraction-denial--kids, television, computers, Wii, hobbies, yard work, tasks of all sorts that can wait--these are the things that need to be secondary to a relationship. These are the things that our mate, our best friend, may want us to put aside, but be hesitant to ask for. Willingness to put them first is always a win-win. Here’s the deal: if we’d put those things aside for our best friend--then we should do it that much sooner for our mate.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Congratulations Iowa

We're excited to be celebrating Marriage for Everyone on Caffection Married to my Best Friend! As former Iowans, we proudly jumped in and created a musical photo album as a tribute to Heartland Marriage Celebration.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy 4th

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY EVERYONE!

Enjoy the 4th with your friends & community. CELEBRATE!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Musical Photo Album

People are asking to be included. How wonderful to know you are in a relationship of Caffection!
We'd love to have a picture of you in our next musical photo album. Send them to our Caffection Marriage Equality FB page with a note about you. We plan to add a new one every month. Also if you, or someone you know, has recorded an appropriate song - as Tom Goss did, have them drop us a line as well. We intend to Celebrate Caffection! It's fantastic to be in a healthy, vibrant, commited relationship. Join us in spreading the message: Caffection -- Everyone should have the civil right to Marry.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Choose Your Life

We have a calling to train couples to celebrate their solid relationships with affirmations and rituals. It's very exciting to know you can choose your attitude and your life! How wonderful to be in a forever relationship with the one you love the most.
An important part of a caffected relationship is making time for each other, not just the leftover pieces of your day. 'Quality time' is a cliche, but there's a particle of truth to it. Love requires positive energy management to not only sustain itself, but to grow and prosper.
Creating rituals helps you focus your time and energy on your mate, your best friend! Making time for your best friend lets them know just how important they are to you.
Imagine being able to be with the one special person who knows your secrets, knows your foibles, fears, aspirations. The one you'd want sharing your space, your kitchen, your car, your bed, your living and dining room, your romantic interludes, your life? If you're nodding your head right now, you are caffected. We applaud your commitment!
Be sure to use this recipe to keep your love fresh & vibrant: Combine fun, nurturing, patience, understanding, appreciation, support, respect. Knead well. Rich rewards are in store. Enjoy.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Don't read this...

caffection.com

...unless you feel as we do that too often people ignore the shabby treatment and dismissive attitude toward others who happen to be different. We have this conversation a lot, and there never seems to be an answer: why do we feel it's necessary to get involved in certain issues, when it would be far easier to go to work, come home, eat dinner, punch the remote for our only exercise of the day, and go to bed--then do it all again the next day? Why can't we do that? Is it vanity on our part, the need to be in front of the crowd, visible, be 'in attendance'? Or is it because we sense how much we've been given, and since we took the lesson learned at our mothers' knee to heart, to give back in equal measure?
So don't read this...unless you learned that lesson, too. Here's one reason we persist in light of all the obstacles toward a day when marriage equality is reality: we're all different, and different is good. And marriage is a celebration of all that and more.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

mothers desire

Each mom wants her child to be accepted, not rejected by our world. Acknowledged for what they have to offer, not ridiculed by society. Every mom wants her child to find someone to share their life with, to love openly and to be welcomed. Happy Mother's Day to all moms.
Share this video with every mom who looks forward to the day when all children are celebrated.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Congratulations Maine!

Another day to celebrate Caffection Married to My Best Friend!

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood in New England today. We commend Gov Baldacci and the Maine senate for their stand on civil rights . With the New Hampshire Marriage Equality Bill on Governor John Lynch's desk, please send an email to let him know why equality is important to you. Exciting change is sweeping our nation, Jim and Brenda Johnson report the latest happenings in DC and we see Rhode Island continuing to march forward. It is a beautiful day in the neighborhood indeed, and love will prevail.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Nurturing Marriages Everywhere

Imagine the heartache, grief and dismay of mother's yearning for their child to be accepted. Imagine the pride, hope and joy known to families whose children find a loving, nurturing mate. Imagine the excitement and anticipation of all that could and will come when everyone embraces this union, supports them as a couple and CELEBRATES with them. Imagine the thrill of being acknowledged, not just as human, but as the wonderful, beautiful people they are.

WE DO.
It's called Marriage.
And it's for everyone.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Focus Group

caffection.com

To all our friends in the blogosphere, we need your help. We're able to be out and about in this exciting, somewhat turbulent time, getting all manner of opinions about the progressive issues facing this country: marriage equality; don't ask don't tell; gun control; immigration reform. And we need your opinion now more than ever. Why? One thing we feel passionate about, as you know, is marriage equality, because, quite frankly, our own marriage is such a gratifying, fulfilling part of who we are that we believe everyone needs to experience this in life, and celebrate it. If that sounds naive and/or maudlin, so be it; it's who we are. So what do we need from you? We're looking for a focus group, a segment of our readership willing to look over the caffection website, critique it for us, make suggestions, give us your opinion on how better we can offer the resources on it to people who want a great relationship. We want readers to make whatever comments and suggestions they want, anonymously if you like, and to be completely open and objective about it. In short, we really want to make caffection.com yours. We're more than happy to tend to it, and make it the resource it can be for these times. Will you help with this? Comment here, or go to the contact us page on the site and let us hear from you. Thanks, it means a lot. BE/ME

Saturday, March 28, 2009

It Does Keep Getting Better!

CAFFECTION.COM
"The Better It Gets, The Better It Gets." Abraham-Hicks

Yes, it does keep getting better. As we approach our 108th month (9 years!) anniversary, we're excited to announce: the honeymoon isn't over! Being married to your best friend truly is fantastic. We believe any and all people in vibrant, healthy relationships who choose to make this commitment, should not only be allowed, but encouraged, to join up. Everyone should celebrate Caffection!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Ides

The Ides of March are nearly upon us, and this time of year presents a good opportunity to look ahead instead of behind for a change. It's very nearly Spring; time change has already happened; graduation dates are close by and the next big holiday is Memorial Day. Here's an idea: instead of waiting for a public celebration, why not create your own holiday. Call it Caffection Day, and make it a movable feast, a day you do nothing but spend time with your favorite person in the world. It's too easy to neglect the person you love most, live with, share everything with, sleep with in favor of people we see once and then never again. Caffection is another way of re-prioritizing, so we have a balanced life.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Fun ways to Celebrate Valentines Day

CAFFECTION.com

In the spirit of Valentines Day we celebrate love.

The exchanging of Valentine Cards, originally hand-made of lace and ribbons featuring cupids and hearts, was the first popular symbol attached to this celebration of romance.
Roses were said to be sacred to Venus, the Goddess of Love. The red rose is the most popular Valentine symbol, implying beauty, passion and love. And of course there is the, always in-style, box of chocolates.

7 Romantic ways to show your Caffection:

1) Send flowers
2) Listen
3) Make a favorite meal
7) Read Poetry
3) Write a Love Letter
2) Gentle Massage
1) Make Love

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Best Friends for Years

Today a man, who celebrated his 30th anniversary last year, asked "What is Caffection?" After telling him our vision for celebrating great unions, he smiled, nodded & replied, "It can't always be fun or great. What about when there's issues with money, kids or work, and sorrows like death."
So, what about the tough stuff. It's out there, and though we have a great relationship with lots of fun & adventures, we have challenges too. How do we deal with them within our relationship, how do you?
Many years ago I recall hearing Richard Carlson discuss the book he wrote, "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff, and it's all small stuff." He said he'd been contacted by many people who wanted to know... what about the BIG stuff? He went on to write something addressing just that. There is BIG stuff in everyone's life.
While placing links within the content of the blog, as we commonly do, I Googled the author of the book. I was shocked to learn of his unexpected death, December 13, 2006. The significance of this finding in conjunction with today's topic leaves me feeling a bit unsettled, as well as humbled to the timely comment of the gentleman married 30 years.
Please check out the website Kristine & Richard Carlson's.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Celebration