Appreciating Housework

Caffection.com

It's true, you can find fun ways to keep your relationship vibrant. Soon you'll enjoy making the mudane household tasks interesting with these simple ideas. Next time you're putting the laundry away leave a shmily note in a sock or in a coffee cup when unloading the dishwasher. The anticipation of their expression when it's found, makes it worth the wait. Making the ordinary, extraordinary with a smiley-faced breakfast or fixing their favorite meal for no reason at all.
Imagine making housework fun or even sexy! iVillage recently released a survey with results which reveal how sharing chores can build a relationship. Everyone loves to be appreciated and acknowledged. Alisa Bowman has a very clever thought, make housework a new kind of foreplay
to encourage chore-sharing. Finding new ways to show appreciative loving is just a google away. Coming up 7th (in over 4 million sites) marriage suite 101 brings us these insights from author Genna Cockerham.

Keep Love Alive. Bond With Your Lover

CAFFECTION.com

Create caffection?  An interesting thought for sure.  We've been asked,  how do you build stronger bonds after years of marriage? Perhaps you're empty-nesters or feel the original spark beginning to wane. That's a normal part of life, and exactly why it's so important to stoke the fire of marriage and keep the flame burning brightly. In our hectic lives, it's key to tune into your mate.  Listen closely for things said, as well as those that aren't.  When we shared the SHMILY story previously, we didn't tell the entire story.   The shmily note is in the picture, but it's the door handle that's the rest of the story.  This is the door to my office (Mariah).  I'm notorious for having my hands too full to turn a doorknob.  Arms overloaded, I chuckled and said to my grinning husband while he opened the door for me, "I need a personal doorman."   The picture above reveals one way strong bonds are built.  When I saw my new doorman (a.k.a. handle) and the shmily note, his love for me was obvious.  Byron provided an unsolicited physical manifestation of my desire.  This act was done out of love for me.  He saw my need and met it before I even thought of it, or did it myself.  The love this random act of kindness produced and the bonding it created, yes both emotional and physical, added joy to both of our lives.  In marriage it's key to remember: love is a fire that will go out when unattended.

SHMILY

CAFFECTION.com

I find them in the most interesting places--lunch bag, sock drawer, taped to the steering wheel, in a library book (how did she do that?), even scribbled on the bathroom mirror in lipstick, or toothpaste. SHMILY*. And I hide them for her to find, also. In pockets of her scrub pants, inside her sandwich wrapper, even once in a suitcase that she'd packed. (How did he do that?) SHMILY. See How Much I Love You. It's a fine, fun, free tradition that bonds us even more deeply, and maybe even cheers us up when we find the little notes on a crummy day at work.

There's a tale attached to the tradition. For the origin of the SHMILY you should Google the acronym, or go to www.geocities.com/fannyssite/shmily.html.

Try it. You never know where a SHMILY might show up.

*(©1998 Laura Jeanne Allen)

Building Rituals

CAFFECTION.COM

ritual |ˈri ch oōəl|a series of actions or type of behavior regularly and invariably followed by someone (in your case, your best friend) Do you routinely celebrate monthly anniversaries, have your own language, know secrets about each other no one else knows, have a favorite vacation spot or restaurant? These are all part of the rituals we create. If you have them but haven't thought of them as unique, today's the day to begin. One of the best ways to infuse your relationship with new life is to pay attention to small details. If you'd like your mate to become more affectionate, teach them! Live by example, start with small things. Put a romantic note in their briefcase or in a sock, journal across the sheets*, mail them a card or put a S.H.M.I.L.Y.* on the mirror. Be patient, there's a learning curve here and remember what we focus on expands.

*stay tuned this weekend for details.