Nurturing Marriages Everywhere

CAFFECTION.com

Imagine the heartache, grief and dismay of mother's yearning for their child to be accepted. Imagine the pride, hope and joy known to families whose children find a loving, nurturing mate. Imagine the excitement and anticipation of all that could and will come when everyone embraces this union, supports them as a couple and CELEBRATES with them. Imagine the thrill of being acknowledged, not just as human, but as the wonderful, beautiful people they are.

WE DO.
It's called Marriage.
And it's for everyone.

Spring Has Sprung

CAFFECTION.com

Ahhh, spring has finally arrived. Now comes the mowing, mulching, gardening and playing outside once again. Feels great, doesn't it? While we anxiously waited out winter, some exciting breaths of fresh air began sprouting across our wonderful nation. Vermont and our home state of Iowa, joined Massachusetts and Connecticut in the march toward marriage equality. This video is a must see as it sums up how most fair-minded citizens of this great land feel. Soon D.C. and others will give their nod of support. This is an exciting spring indeed. Congratulations to all the soon-to-be newlyweds. We're proud to stand by your side.

Commitment

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I know that anyone who desires the commitment of marriage, will one day be allowed to be a wife or a husband. If you're someone who is in a vibrant, healthy, committed relationship and your desire is to be married, yet it's illegal for you to marry, please know-- in my humble opinion -- -- you are more married than a lot of 'married' folks. I look forward to the day I can dance at your wedding (though I don't dance well, I have a lot of fun trying!) And that's what life's about.

Since the day I became Mrs. Byron Edgington I pinch myself and think -- "Wow, how does it just keep getting better?" Though you may be skeptical of that, it's just true. Many people tell me, "Oh, it's not that easy for me because..." and proceed to tell me the many life challenges they must deal with. I do understand and acknowledge the difficulties of past baggage (we have some of that to contend with too) however, everything is a choice. I choose to find the positive in everything. I choose to live in the here and now as much as possible. And so can you.

I also believe if you desire marriage, YOU can make it the most fulfilling experience of your life. Your marriage is your marriage! It's not your parents', your siblings' or any of your friends' experience. It is yours. You get to choose how wonderful it is. Byron and I recognized this early on, we try to make every day one that states "our marriage is fantastic!" Is it always that way? Of course not, but on the days I'm down, he brings me up and vice-versa. Yes, we've both been down on the same days and then friends like you bring us up again.

I've found it's the simple stuff, done on a regular basis, that has made the big difference. I write notes and stuff them in his socks or lunch bag. I do chores he doesn't care to do, I always talk about him with positive regard when others talk about their mates at work. You know why? Because I choose to. And you can to. Find ways to nurture your mate in some way every single day. This is a gift only you can give.

My marriage also taught me how to receive. I had to learn how to accept the nurturing By gave me. This was foreign to me, as it may be to you, but it's a very important way to build your relationship. Everyday I look in the mirror and say, "Thank you, I love you." Acknowledging and accepting yourself is critical to your vibrant marriage. Your mate loves you and you should too.

Courage

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It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
e.e. Cummings

The Potential

CAFFECTION.com

We frequently ask people what marriage means to them. The wonderful stories that they share always amaze us. Now,with the help of Facebook we've been privileged to hear even more. One of the most exciting things is the potential. The potential? Yes, the potential good that will come to the sanctity of marriage once it's opened to ALL who love, nurture and care for one another in their Caffection. After reading this heartwarming story from the couple above: "Theresa and I met in FL. and fell in love but because of the laws there we could not marry. When I answered my "call" to ministry we moved to Boston in a state that has marriage equality. We were the 1st couple to get married in the brand new Wilson Chapel on the campus of Andover Newton Theological School. There is nothing that makes me as happy as to introduce Theresa as my wife." and watching this video meticulously created by Ricky & Anthony in anticipation of their future family as well as numerous other stories, we understand our passion for equality has a solid foundation. Let's take every opportunity to promote marriage for everyone.

Wellspring

CAFFECTION.com

Best friend, my wellspring in the wilderness. George Eliot

Spring

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Spring is here, and time for all manner of new awakenings. We've been to a number of rallies over the past months. Some in bitter cold; some in the not so cold; one indoors this past week that felt for all the world like a filming of a 'We are the World' clip, with its ambiance, impromptu nature, and atmosphere of warmth. Preferring warmth, we liked the indoors version. The event was a gathering at AIDs Task Force of Greater Cleveland to make a video. The featured performer was Tom Goss, who led us through a rendition of his recent hit, 'Till the End'. We managed to get through the song in pretty good form, I think. The event was to draw attention to Cleveland's recent referendum on a couples registry there, which the religious right is fighting tooth and nail. Check out our video at the link provided, or, if you want to see the polished video of 'Till the End', go to Caffection.com. The music clip is currently featured on the landing page there. Enjoy, and Happy Spring!

Flat Stanley

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Kids are great. We recently had a chance to meet 'Flat Stanley' at a concert in Cleveland. Mr. Stanley is a fairly interesting, if quite flat individual. He's part of a project by a bunch of grade school kids to show how globally connected we all are. The kids send Flat Stanley as many places as they can dream up, then journal about his travels. Often Mr. Stanley actually makes his way home to the sender! Flat Stanley has traveled the world, even getting his picture taken aboard the space shuttle. He's a very photogenic fellow, well traveled, affable, and has the added wonderful attribute of being able to fit in an envelope. Look for a Flat Stanley near you.
Above, musician Tom Goss entertains Flat Stanley, one of Tom's many devoted fans. (Hope he doesn't sing flat!)

Wellness

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Health & wellness are the most critical part of a happy, gratifying life. From a few health challenges three years ago, we know that to be true. A health crisis tends to focus our attention on important things like nothing else. And nothing else helps us stay healthy and well, and to get healthy when we're ill like a great relationship. Among many other things too numerous to mention, marriage equality is important for this as well. It's no stretch to see happy couples, free of the uncertainty and stress of discrimination, as a factor in the current conversation about rising health care costs. President Obama has made reform in this area a key issue in his administration. For this and many reasons, marriage equality is an even higher priority than ever. Study after study confirm that happy couples are healthier, live longer happier lives, and are there to take care of each other in a loving, communal way. Everyone deserves this kind of certainty. Society needs to promote it as well, to protect all of us from the vagaries of ill health, and an already overburdened health care system.

Focus Group

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To all our friends in the blogosphere, we need your help. We're able to be out and about in this exciting, somewhat turbulent time, getting all manner of opinions about the progressive issues facing this country: marriage equality; don't ask don't tell; gun control; immigration reform. And we need your opinion now more than ever. Why? One thing we feel passionate about, as you know, is marriage equality, because, quite frankly, our own marriage is such a gratifying, fulfilling part of who we are that we believe everyone needs to experience this in life, and celebrate it. If that sounds naive and/or maudlin, so be it; it's who we are. So what do we need from you? We're looking for a focus group, a segment of our readership willing to look over the caffection website, critique it for us, make suggestions, give us your opinion on how better we can offer the resources on it to people who want a great relationship. We want readers to make whatever comments and suggestions they want, anonymously if you like, and to be completely open and objective about it. In short, we really want to make caffection.com yours. We're more than happy to tend to it, and make it the resource it can be for these times. Will you help with this? Comment here, or go to the contact us page on the site and let us hear from you. Thanks, it means a lot. BE/ME

Gaps

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I got gaps; you got gaps; we fill each other's gaps. Rocky

Choices

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We make choices every day--what time to get up, whether we are getting up, what to wear, what to say to the nimrod in the elevator who says "great weather, huh?" Life is about choices. We've been taken to task a number of times for this, but we really believe it's simple physics: if we choose negative, cynical, spiteful and angry, that's exactly what we'll get back. If you're expecting a bag of crap, there's no way short of a miracle you'll get butter pecan ice cream. Ain't gonna happen. And it is a Choice. What's this got to do with relationships? Plenty. If we expect to be treated fairly, gently, with respect, we will reasonably hope to get that back. If we expect abuse, disregard, sarcasm etc. there's no way short of a miracle we'll get... You get the idea. The reason this comes up today is that certain family members have once again proven that their default mode is negative, fearful, cynical. It's too bad. We want to tell them that those aren't killer alien mutants under the bed; they're only dust bunnies, so go back to sleep for Pete's sake. Oh, and great weather, huh?