What We Leave Behind

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There's an old, apocryphal story of a couple who'd been together over fifty years. They were a model couple, loving, warm, compassionate, a truly 'Caffected' pair. The old man developed a fatal illness, and was dead within a few months. His widow was grief stricken, of course that her best friend was gone--for now--but she relished the many years they'd been together. At the funeral home, people came and went, consoling the old woman, viewing the old man in his casket. They all left the viewing scratching their heads, all with the same question: Why was he holding a fork in his left hand?
weeks later, the old widow was asked that question by a group of friends at church. "Why was your husband holding a fork in his hand in his casket?"
"Because," the old woman said with a smile. "My dear husband loved dessert. I always told him during dinner, 'keep your fork, the best is yet to come'."
So...what will you want to be holding in your hand when they lower you into the ground?

What Color is Your Soul?

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A question not often pondered, but consider it for a moment if you will. Where does that one simple question take you? First you may drift to the color charts of your mind. Is it really that simple, after all what is a soul? An extension of our deepest self that reflects our truest feelings? A spiritual entity within?
What color is your soul? Does this color include an appreciation for the many areas of your life for which you're grateful? Is the color warm or cool just now? Will it reflect the hope you have for the future or carry the weight of past sorrows? How wonderful to be present, allowing your true colors to shine brightly as an affirming light, for the ones you love the most and the ones watching from afar.
What color would you like the world to see?

TROG

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TROG--A new word? Actually, an acronym meaning Truly Ridiculous Outrageous Goal. It's your big WHY? It's the reason you get out of bed in the morning. We all need a TROG, a big WHY, a reason to get out of bed in the morning. If we don't have a TROG we may as well go back to bed and have a big Z, because our day(s) will almost surely be a disappointment.
Our TROG, our big why is Caffection for everyone. We look forward to the day when divorce is a foreign concept because people actually get married for love. They value their relationship so much that they form work of art that others want to emulate.
TROG because our goal consists of four parts: Truly--it really is what we intend; Ridiculous--subject to ridicule? Yes, but we're not about to let that sway us--A moon landing was called a ridiculous goal by many people; Outrageous? Sure, and why not? How many people would respond to a goal of sorting your sock drawer? Goal? Yes it is. Everyone needs one. Join us?

Stay Positive

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Many people live in a zero sum world. It's too bad, really, considering the abundance all around us. But many persist in seeing the world as an I win you lose kind of place. It's difficult to find a balance sometimes, especially when you're a couple of dreamers like us, to remember that there are people out there who take every advantage. But we choose to believe they're in the minority, and that most people at least have the initial impulse to be generous, and open to new things. I guess we live in what might be called a sum-plus world, where there's room, and advantage, and enough for everyone. Radical idea, but it works for us. We look at some of our family and friends and we see people who live in fear and anxiety that their lives are in constant danger of disruption and loss. And guess what? Each and every one of them are...in constant danger of disruption and loss! Coincidence? We don't think so. Here's what we believe. The fuzzy old adage that the more you give the more you get...is true!

Creating Summer Fun

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We've heard many people are doing "Staycations" in place of vacations this year. And we're proof positive a staycation can be done with a smile and good humor. One thing we like to do is create our own fun. We go to local events, such as Red, White & Boom, we make up new wordles, we found "Caffection" listed as a Squeasel word. Once we found out about squeasel words we asked them to add a word Lynne Bowman of Equality Ohio created -- Banniversary -- (and the folks at Squeasel did it!) We've gone out to eat with several friends and still have more events to attend. We've heard the new ballpark is a great venue, so we'll be taking in a game soon. We also have a little chiminea out back & with the cooler temps, we've been able to sneak out there at night, make a fire & watch the fireflys.
So tell us your staycation ideas!

New Definition

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Once in a while a new word, phrase or definition comes along. Then, after hanging around for a while in the doldrums, it begins to get a bit of buzz, and then reaches the tipping point, spilling into the popular domain. At that point the word becomes almost a fad item: People work it into every conversation they can, just to show how alert they are to ever changing social trends. 'Tipping point' is just such a phrase. ' Google' is another. 'Empowerment' is the buzzword for what used to be called individuality.
So along comes 'Caffection'. At this non-tippy point, Caffection is in the doldrums, still waiting in line to find its way into the lexicon. As I write this, people still have trouble wrapping their tongue around the word--Caff--fection, they say, or Caffac...Caffavect...Cafelect...No wait. We predict that at some time in the near future Caffection (Affection with a C in front) will become a buzzword, the latest fad word that glides off everyone's lips like champagne bubbles, only easier.
And what will they mean when they work Caffection into a conversation? They'll be referring to a new definition of committed, stable, secure, happy marriage--marriage to one's best friend. They'll say Caffection is the only way to live. And they'll be right.
Got Caffection?

Abundance

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Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.
Wayne Dyer

Legacy

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Legacy used to mean how much money we intend to leave behind for our kids. The concept of legacy has begun to change in new and startling ways, as boomers move into s0-called retirement age. This is because there's starting to be a realization that 'retirement' is a fading concept. In this country life expectancy has increased 2.5 years per decade in a linear fashion since 1847! Back then, life expectancy was 47 in this country. Now it's 74.3 for men and 80.5 for women. Among other things, this means that legacy isn't what it used to be. We now have the very real possibility of leaving behind wealth to our children if we do it right. The only question is whether or not we want to. Here's another prospect: why not recognize the trend of a new kind of 'generativity', a move beyond retirement into a so-called 'encore career'*, wherein we boomers leave a legacy not of money, but of public service, and the leveraging of our experience to help solve seemingly intractable problems? This is yet another way to burn the baggage of a past that may seem at times to be wasted, and wasteful. Scott Fitzgerald was wrong: there are second acts in American life.

*From Encore--Finding work that matters in the second half of life © 2007 Marc Freedman Perseus Books

New Tradition

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History has shown us the way forward in every struggle. Not long ago in this country slavery was a 'tradition', property ownership exclusively by men was a 'tradition', child labor was a 'tradition', miscegenation laws were a 'tradition'. So when people fall back on tradition to continue supporting certain social injustices, it's time to take a closer look and move past the shackles of 'tradition'. What gets in our way is usually fear; fear of change, fear of social disapproval; fear of the unknown. Making solid, vibrant, healthy, CAFFECTED relationships the new tradition is one of our visions. Allow others to watch you interact in positive affirming ways. Compliment one antoher, hold hands, smile, 'make eyes' at each other. Enjoy! Caffection is fun.

Humor

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It's not often we allow ourselves the luxury of a good laugh, but we need to do that once in a while. We do tend to take ourselves much too seriously, especially now when the economy is lower than whale poop. So here are a few of the latest & greatest chuckles--all of which are easily used in so-called polite company.

Fellow barges into his shrink's office screaming and raving--"I'm a wigwam; I'm a teepee--I'm a wigwam;I'm a teepee!!"
His shrink says, "Settle down you're too tense."

"Doctor, I think I'm suffering from deja-vu"
"Didn't I see you yesterday?"

"Doctor, come quick--my son swallowed a pen! What do I do?"
"Use a pencil till I get there."

Then there was the dim-witted fellow stopping traffic by standing outside his car doodling on a notepad. The police officer asked what the heck he was doing? Continuing his doodle, the fellow stated--"The sign says draw bridge"

And finally--The teacher asked little Freddy why they were called the dark ages?
Freddy said simply, "Because there were so many knights!"

Enjoy--and take care of each other.

Courage

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"Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace."
Amelia Earhart

Shelter Me

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Relationships can provide a haven from storms that would otherwise send you reeling. Lean on your mate and let them hold the umbrella for you.

Be Mine

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Isn't Caffection cool? Cuddle just because you can, praise each other often, surprise them by doing 'their' chores for them occasionally. It's fun to know you're in a great relationship, enjoy it.

Late Snow?

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We made a roadtrip to Cleveland April 7th. This beautiful home had its large yard graced by a late season snow. It didn't seem to mind the inconvenience of coolness, only taking in the fresh moisture upon its new spring green. Relationships are like that too. We get to choose how we respond to all situations in life.

Happy 4th

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HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY EVERYONE!

Enjoy the 4th with your friends & community. CELEBRATE!

An American Family

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Solid relationships. Love abounds throughout our country. Here's a great book you'll want to read:
An American Family by Jon & Michael Gallucio. That's the American family in the picture above, and a look at the book.

My Journal to You

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We've talked many times about using rituals to keep your bond strong. The first time we blogged about "JATS" June 21, 2008 we received some curious doubt. "Do you really write to each other in bed?" Well, yes, we do. It affirms our love. The romance continues. Try it, you'll like it.