Passionate Love

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Love is a fire that will go out if not attended.

Virtual Travels With Your Best Friend

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When we miss the big water too much we "visit" sea to shining sea, virtually. Maine offers a bit of serenity and The Morning Dove, a welcoming B & B that's open year-round. Then there's the Pacific side where you visit wine country on your way to The Timber Cove Inn. And for those who really want to get away, check out Belize or a bit of down under. No matter where you travel virtually, you'll always have the comforts of home.

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Thanksgiving is more than parades, turkey and football. It's part of how we use myth and ritual to understand our origins as Americans. There are as many ways to celebrate as there are individual cultures and segments. In New York City, of course there's the ritual Macys Parade. Ancient American Indians even celebrated a harvest-end ritual. The Jews observe Sukkoth. Romans gave thanks to Ceres, Goddess of fertility. On Kaho'olawe, a tiny island in the rainshadow of Maui's Haleakala, native Hawaiians awake to a conch shell moaning in the new day. They give thanks to Pele and other Hawaiian deities for the blessings to their Ohana.
Here's another way to celebrate with family: as dinner progresses, go around the table saying one thing we're thankful for about family members to one's left and right. This exercise may be revealing, and fun. It could also unearth a few long-lost secrets that become family lore.
In any case, whether we're a small, close-knit group or a large, far-flung, geographically challenged family, there are ways to acknowledge each other, and give thanks together.

Fun Travels

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Recently while traveling to visit our daughter Amanda in the great city of Austin we found a wonderful group. The Atticus Circle, is dedicated to equality and their site offers a great wealth of resources. They support fine by me who state, "We believe it is easier for LGBT people to come out of the closet if their friends and allies publicly come out against homophobia, too. We know there are countless people all across America who support equal rights—both gay and straight, from every community in every state—and we want to work with you to stand up against discrimination." We agree. Everyone should be allowed to be married to their best friend.

News

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The News Release went out this morning to over 1,000 outlets. Caffection is THE brand for married friendship. For those who have been reading our blog for some time, there are temporary free offers on the website, so check them out, and let us know how things go for you.

More news. Mariah's team at the Ross Heart Hospital EP lab & EPR garnered a patient satisfaction score of 99.1%! Congratulations to the team, and keep up the awesome work.

More news. The Caffection couples seminar will take place Saturday January 17th 2009 from 1 to 4 pm. This will be an energizing, fun, affirming experience for caffected couples, so sign up early. Place TBA, but likely All Saints Episcopal Church on Johnstown rd in New Albany.

You Know Me Inside & Out

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Imagine having someone who knows you like no other, occasionally, better than you. How many of you have had your caffected mate "read your mind?" If you're like us, it happens frequently, we just expect it.
Check out and share the latest addition to the Best Friend series with your lover soon.

Life Challenges

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On the occasional day when many things go awry, it's difficult to stay focused on the positives. Take the time to do a mental state change... a what? A state change. A state change is, as Peak Potentials taught us, an activity you do to create energy when you're feeling sluggish. Some examples; when you're struggling with balancing the checkbook, take a 4 minute break to watch a video from Simple Truths. It's free, it's simple and it's inspiring. How about this one, imagine yourself wearing a kilt or playing the bagpipes (now if that doesn't make you break into a wide grin, picture your mate in one!) If you can't leave work and you're stressed; stand up, take a few deep breaths and think of your favorite childhood 'hide-out'. You're in traffic, you're late, the dog ate your new slippers, remember your pocket affirmation. This week use life's little challenges as opportunities for mental state changes. You'll be amazed how great you'll feel!

The greatest discovery of my generation is that man can alter his life simply by altering his attitude of mind.
William James

Married Strays

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You heard it here first: we're a couple of married strays, that is, straight but highly sympathetic to gays. Here is our mission statement, and in unambiguous terms what we believe: we believe in marriage. we believe that anyone and everyone who wishes to marry the person they love, have the fundamental right to marry. We don't expend our energy defending this position, because the intolerant 'other' side of this issue is indefensible. We believe that when two people love each other enough to want to share their lives, loves, families, dreams, desires and basic human interaction they have the right to marry regardless of gender. Are we strays for promoting such a radical concept? Perhaps. So were all the other pioneers in our history whose vision and clarity came to be understood over time. This issue, too, will be considered quaint. The bottom line is that we're not promoting anything radical, or subversive, or risky, or profane; we're promoting human rights for everyone. If that's radical, we're happy to be strays.

Social Networks

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Social networks are everywhere these days: FaceBook; MySpace; Orkut; Wikimedia Commons; twittr; friends.com; classmates.com; outeverywhere; shelfari, and too many more to mention. We're going to start making entries on Orkut, as we feel this is the coming portal for those who want to reach out to the same demographic we do. So we're suggesting adding your info at Orkut now, so you can say you got in on the ground floor.
Soon there will be a Facebook page for Caffection. It will be a mini-website with news of changes, additions, nice to know and whatever else we think our readers would like. Stay tuned.

Bonding Relationship = Caffection!

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As we've said before rituals and affirmations bond a relationship like no other. Rituals can be simple: searching the internet together [for fun, interactive couples websites; such as Caffection.com] or cooking together [a couples story -- "She cooks the meal, I do the clean up. We both hang out in the kitchen together the whole time enjoying each others' company!"], or bundling up and taking a walk together. Rituals can be done even when you're apart, our ritual of Journaling Across The Sheets was initially mailed back & forth while working in separate cities. Separate, yet, inseparable. When people think of Mariah, they immediately think of Byron. So we've become MariahByron in their minds. And the two shall be as one.
Caffected couples need to stand together. Announce marriage is alive and well. And it is OPEN to EVERYONE who's willing to do the hard work commitment requires. What is marriage? It's love. It's support. It's energy. It's the union of two. Two people who love and commit to each other, dedicate their lives to one another and are willing to publicly say; "We are married and we're proud of it."

Speaking Out

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Union gives strength. Aesop

Weekend Best Friends

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Weekends with a best friend allow us to sleep late, cuddle without regard to the clock, make love for breakfast, ignore the phone, walk to the coffee shop, or just catch up with each other from the long week. Ohio State football fans prepare to watch the Illinois game this weekend, or take in an IMAX movie at COSI titled The Alps. One of our favorite activities is cooking together on weekends, just because we have plenty of time. Here's a great pre-Thanksgiving dinner: Cider & Pork Casserole. Just bake pork chops, cut them in cubes, fill a crock-pot with cider, add your favorite vegetables, and stew for three hours on low, while you're taking in the movie.

Winter Rituals

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Ah, the joys of winter. For those of us living in cooler climates, winter means bundling up and preparing for cold. Some of you enjoy the cold months more than others, but there are many things we can all do to strengthen our caffection during this season. Ideas for fun at home may include: *build a fire and snuggle, *take a hot bath complete with wine and candles, *take turns reading poetry, *share favorite childhood winter memories. Some of our local attractions: Franklin Park Conservatory, Columbus Zoo have upcoming holiday light displays that are fun to see with your mate and friends. What ideas do you have?

Cloud memory

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We often miss things that made us feel fulfilled, engaged, whole, things that happened long ago and can never be again. As children we all played the name that cloud game: a friend would point to a cloud formation, and ask what it looked like. Of course we always said it resembled a dragon, or a clown, or a sailing ship. The exercise may have revealed what we most wanted to see. Whatever the cloud was, that's who or what we were or wanted to be as well. But silly kid's games fade away as we grow up and leave such nonsense behind.
So next time you're walking with your mate, point to a cloud, and ask them what they see. Their answer may surprise you, or not. Sharing such revelations as clouds provide makes us feel fulfilled and energized, too. Just like a couple of kids playing a silly game. Such nonsense as naming clouds can bond us in ways we haven't known since childhood.

Health

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(This is a reprint of a blog from 9/08)

With fall & winter approaching it's easy to predict what could happen to our health & wellness regimen. You know, the one we worked so hard all summer to turn into a habit. Here's a suggestion, and a good thing to pass along to your caffected other--it takes 21 days to establish a habit, and about three days to lose it. Doesn't seem fair, but there you have it. We've decided to make one more attempt at meditation as a stress reliever/creativity source. Meditation is also proven to assist in better health, at least indirectly by lowering blood pressure, easing stress, and as an alternative to snacking. Of course if we start meditating about food, and what's for dessert, it could be a long winter.

Other suggestions for fall & winter health are welcome.

Caffection Is For Everyone

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Whoso loves, believes the impossible. Elizabeth Barret Browning

Caffection In The White House

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President-elect Obama gave us hope for a brighter future during his acceptance speech last night: If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, ...It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled... ...It's the answer that led those who've been told for so long by so many to be cynical and fearful and doubtful about what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.
But we clearly have work to do. We must become better educators. Information from sources such as straight FOR equality , PFLAG, HRC and others can be shared to dispel unfounded myths creating fear and ignorance in our communities. As Andy Andrews notes in his book The Traveler's Gift we must: 'Persist Without Exception, find a way when there is no way.'

Love Is What Marriage Looks Like

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Our congrats go out to James and Ian. Thank you for sharing your magical moment.

Beautiful Marriage

Caffection Top 10 List

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Top 10 lists are very popular with such lists popping up everywhere: top 10 ways to tell your dog has fleas; top 10 names for a pet Gerbil; top 10 excuses for not attending a friend's bachelor party, you name it. Today we're starting a new item on the Caffection blog: top 10 ways to show your mate they're your best pal. So, without further ado: 10) Hold the door for them. 9) Say I 'like' you. 8) When they say I love you, say thanks! 7) Tell them you appreciate how they take care of themselves. 6) Send them a card--3 days running. 5) Call a mutual friend, and brag about your mate. 4) Have their car detailed. 3) Bring home their favorite junk food. 2) Meet them at the door with their slippers and a glass of wine. And, drum roll, please, 1) When they've had a tough day, just listen.
Caffection is just another word for Married Friendship.

Celebrate The Art of Marriage

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How do you mean? Marriage an Art. Yes, an art form to be enjoyed by all who partake. One that may require a bit of sophistication to acquire. One that’s not for the light-hearted, requiring a bit of finesse to negotiate some of the twists and turns. One that if, perfected by smoothing; as a potter works the spinning clay (picture the scene in Ghost...you get the idea), will form into a beautiful piece created by the loving hands that nurtured it to life. One that you can be proud to be a part of. Imagine dining out and having others notice, actually comment on, your obvious Caffection! How do we show our support of this newest of THE ARTS: The Art of Caffected Marriages? Let’s start by finding the good and praising it. Bob & Bobbie Novak sent us an inspiring link to this positive blog. We’re confident more couples are happily married than not, so let’s spread the good news. Caffection is alive and well & we want to talk about it. Send us links to other positive sites/blogs that you know of.