Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Auld Lang Syne
Happy New Year to everyone. From our house, to your house--may 2009 be TBYOOL--The Best Year Of Our Lives. the lyrics to. "Auld Lang Syne" literally translates as "old long since" and means "times gone by." The song asks whether old friends and times will be forgotten, and promises to fondly remember people in our past, "...we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet."

The song goes on with friends who used to "run about the braes,/ And pou'd the gowans fine" (run about the hills and pulled up the daisies) and "paidl'd in the burn/Frae morning sun till dine" (paddled in the stream from morning to dusk) have become divided by time and distance—"seas between us braid hae roar'd" (broad seas have roared between us). Yet there's always time for old friends to get together and "tak a right guid-willie waught" (a good-will drink).

So let's bid adieu to 2008, put on those party hats, and vow to make '09 TBYOOL!

And as they say in Hawaii this time of year--Hauoli makahiki hou (Hah Oly Mok A Heeky Ho) Happy New Year

Monday, December 29, 2008

Relationship Status: MARRIED - when legal
Our mission is to energize relationships, and celebrate an elite status--Caffection. We believe in affirming positive successful relationships.

We believe in marriage. We believe those who choose to marry should be married to their best friend. Having a best friend relationship is the most romantic thing in the world. It's sexy as hell. Just walking down the street together holding hands people notice how attractive you are, and they want it, too. That's our mission: to make marriage between best friends a status to be celebrated. Marriage is for Everyone!
Recently we've had many people in long term caffected relationships, tell us they would be married, if they were legally allowed to be. America, with liberty and justice for all, or almost all. It's time. Time for a grass-roots campaign for equality. Let's start where everyone is looking: Facebook. A friend of ours had this comment; I wish that Facebook would offer "would be married if legally available" as a relationship status.
Who knows someone at Facebook who can make this happen? Great, let's get started.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

DC Roadtrip

We spent a wonderful holiday touring the attractions of D.C.

Then we clicked our heels together 3 times and just as Dorothy said, "There's no place like home." Poof, here we are blogging once again.

We'll post some great stories later this week when we get the wind back in our sails. For now, a big thanks to the gang at The DC Guesthouse. In a word; WOW!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Lions and Tigers and GOOGLE, oh my!

It's true, we're crazy about Google. No doubt about it, Google is our favorite search engine. Sure it gives you all the information you need in a NY second, but the real attraction to Google is its energy, innovation and business model. "Do no evil" is the company motto, and they really mean it. We intend for Caffection to be the Google of married friendship. Soon people will say, "I Googled you and I see that you have Caffection, congratulations." Caffection/Google, made up words, lots of energy, a force for good things, a powerful idea whose time has come. Join us on this journey, will you?

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


Tomorrow is nothing but potential. Justin Abell

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Fantastic Sex

did they really say that?!


Yes we did. And we'll say it again. Fantastic SEX!
Attention all Caffected couples, your relationship is already great and we commend you. Now it's time to get excited about some of the benefits of caffection.
With the first Caffection Seminar date rapidly approaching, we're putting the final touches on the content. During one of our brainstorming sessions, the topic of what elevates a good marriage to a "great" marriage arose. So, you ask, what does? Hands down; good communication. Communication in every sense of that word. Verbal, emotional and physical. We're all tactile creatures. Being touched, inside and out of the bedroom IS a big deal. Many of us were brought up knowing sex was taboo. We're here to say, get over it, it's time to move on. Sex is Fantastic. It's fun. And it's FREE! So if you're charting unfamiliar territory, invest in Dr. Saul Rosenthal's straight-forward book; Sex Over 40, buy a few candles, put on some romantic music, start with a bath and a massage. Then indulge in a passionate encounter that a Caffected marriage encourages. You're lovers. It IS wonderful!

Thursday, December 18, 2008


you've not seen Sean Penn in Milk, you need to do so. The movie, based on the life of Harvey Milk, assassinated San Francisco city supervisor is in theaters now. Heartbreaking, affirming, disturbing and funny, the film will make you angry, and at the same time harden your determination to eliminate prejudice in all its forms. The refreshing message of Milk's life, his mantra as he struggled for gay rights in the late seventies was this: you've got to give people hope. It's as good a message as any we've heard lately, especially after 8 years of stifling and repressive rhetoric, and blind obedience to the status quo.
And Heather? Hang in there, better days are ahead.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


The definition of legacy is (n) legacy ((law) a gift of personal property by will. Legacy has come to mean something passed along to our children, a bequest typically financial but not always. Here's another form of legacy we ought to consider. As baby boomers move into retirement age, we're looking for something to leave behind, to create something that will outlive us. This thing called Caffection informs the way we interact with people we love, and who we'd like to emulate us. Kids are smarter than we are; if they see us treating our spouses with respect, admiration, caffection, they'll want that in their own lives. It's a legacy anyone can be proud of.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Quality Caffection Affiliations

We're long-time advocates for strong, vibrant marriages*. Our goal is to provide affirmation and resources for happily "Caffected" couples. In our vision, we see CAFFECTION! as THE brand people immediately associate with 'Married Friendship'. Couples buying gifts for each other, friends purchasing wedding presents or relatives finding that perfect something for the anniversary of a loved one at CAFFECTION! is THE place to go when exclusive gifts, received with excitement and anticipation, are required.
Can you imagine opening a box from CAFFECTION! Married To My Best Friend...? We can. And we do, every single day.
Why are we so passionate about this 'venture'? Because it's time. Marriage is a fantastic thing when you're married to the one you're passionate about. We've been married for 104 months and we're still crazy about each other! We make it fun, passionate and sexy. This is out there for you too. Whether you've been married for 1 month or 360 months you can create excitement in your marriage by claiming the elite status of being Married Best Friends!

*Marriage: civil union of two people.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Sibling rivalries

Families are wonderful institutions, but they can be a pain in the neck. When it comes to marriage equality and LGBT issues feelings run pretty strong, even to the point that siblings can find themselves at odds, or worse. Sibling rivalry is as old as the alleged Cain & Abel story, and often more vicious. As straights, we can only imagine what it must be like to keep a gender identity issue quiet, or to come out to a family that is unaccepting. A year ago a friend of ours killed himself because of a failed relationship, and a convergence of problems exacerbated by the fact that he was gay. We have to wonder if Randy's family had simply accepted him, and loved him for who he was if he might still be around? In the terrific movie MILK, with Sean Penn, a fellow is challenged to come out to his dad. The argument was simple: unless everyone knows a gay person, especially siblings and family, the old myths and prejudices will persist.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

With Liberty and MARRIAGE for ALL

Is marriage an institution? One has to wonder. Marriage has become just another word. A word, that many within the American culture define as a union between one man and one woman. What's up with that?!
It's time we, as the great nation we are, unite to rid our country of this contagious plague of inequality. We have many friends who continue to be ridiculed, harassed and denied their civil rights as an American based on their sexual orientation.
We're here today to say ENOUGH! Our country is too diverse to allow this injustice to continue.
MARRIAGE: a civil contract to define rights and responsibility between two persons.
We believe in marriage. We believe those who choose to marry should be married to their best friend.
Our proposition is this: everyone should be married to their best friend. Simple. Logical. Beautiful.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

The Gift of Your Time

Three months ago we put a "You Are My Best Friend Because.." movie on YouTube. It's short, simple and true. The fact is, what you focus on expands. When we focus on each others' needs, we frequently meet them and more. The more you give, the more you get. You'll find joy in going above and beyond the old stand by mode of doing only what's expected of you. Just seeing your caffected love's face when you do that unexpected deed, makes it worth all the energy you put into it.

Thursday, December 11, 2008


Branding is a way to put company values and/or presence into the public's mind, and to elicit a favorable opinion of whatever product the company offers. In a way, we all brand ourselves every day by the way we dress, the way we carry ourselves, driving a Lexus or a Smart Car, being seen at Caribou Coffee or McDonalds. Some people wouldn't be caught at midnight at White Castle. Others wouldn't go near a Starbucks. We don't generally see wealthy people hanging around bowling alleys, or the less well off frequenting places like Cherry Ridge Retreat for the weekend. This, too is branding, staying in our comfort zone, living a set of expectations. For a short time, if you're so inclined, you can book a night's stay at the Guggenheim Museum in Manhattan. Only $300 per night.
We havent's recognized our readers for a time, so here's to those who visit, especially Susan who wrote yesterday for the first time. Welcome to OUR brand. Drop in anytime.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


Persistence. It's what marks those who succeed, and its lack marks those who fail. We've run into obstacles at every turn, every idea, every initiative. Some days it feels like the universe conspires against us, but we Persist Without Exception. Andy Andrews is a hero of ours; he says those who throw in the towel are all wet. At the Maui Writer's conference years ago Andy said that we all need to understand that we're in command of the game clock, that the game's not over till we say it's over. Persist Without Exception, and no matter what you set out to do, even the universe can't stand in your way.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Holiday cheer

Tis the season. With the economy the way it is, there's a golden opportunity to find brand new ways to celebrate without spending a ton of credit-card fueled extravagance. Here are a few ideas--items on the website are marked down to $5.95 for the beautiful e-book/movies. Just go to Also, you'll find useful items for free, with our compliments. Create a small piece of immortality for your relationship; go to and write a funny, poignant, heartwarming tale about your lover. Talk about romantic! Your story will be preserved forever in the Caffection Archive. And it's free.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Summer Caffection

Just looking at this couple makes you smile, doesn't it? L/D, from Kauai, were out for their traditional 'Saturday-Grocery Store-Date' when they stopped by our place to say hello. They enjoy hanging out together and it shows. We're looking for more great pictures & stories from you. If you're Caffected, let it show. Everyone should have a love like this!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Fantastic Lover

It's wonderful to be in love with your mate. Take time to pamper each other in some way, every single day. The effort is minuscule compared to the harvest you'll reap. Thanks, Sweetie, I love you more than you can know. How's it just keep getting better? Everyone should have a love like this!


Passion is a funny thing: it makes us do stuff we'd see other people do and roll our eyes. We attended a T Harv Eker seminar in 2006 called Train the Trainer. T the T was a week of highly energized, content rich instruction based on the premise that everyone has a trainer inside them, and anyone can establish a seminar presence with that knowledge. It was fun, informative, frantic, and exhausting. Toward the end of the week we took part in a let-your-hair-down exercise involving a costume of our choice, a song, and a two minute audition in front of all other Trainees, with prizes for originality and pure nerve. There were no wardrobe malfunctions, but it was touch and go there for a time. The idea was to stir our passion, to touch our big why, as Jack Canfield says. The week flew by, and we heard over and over the primary lesson in reaching one's passion: Your comfort zone is your money zone. This is a cliché, but feel the fear and do it anyway. Be willing to be terrified. Passion is there; it's not going away.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Best year of our lives

Debbie Ford, New York Times best selling author wrote a book titled The Best Year of your Life. This 2005 book was most responsible for the pursuit and creation of our website, because we both believe that, in addition to visualizing and announcing our goals and aspirations, we must be willing to believe that they are indeed possible. Living on Kauai at the time, and in-between careers, the book was a gift, and indispensable in our quest for something bigger than ourselves. Everyone needs a big WHY, and this book helped us focus on ours. We propose the outrageous concept of marriage between best friends, and marriage equality for everyone. Why? Because the world is a barren enough place, and love is the only way out of this dilemma.

Thursday, December 4, 2008


Once in a while something comes along that grabs our attention--a new gadget, new movie, a book, a song on the radio, and we can't get it out of our heads. Marketers have a word for it. They say it's sticky. Remember "where's the beef?" When we hear that, we automatically see that sweet (feisty) old lady at Wendy's. How about "I can't believe I ate the whole thing." Or what about "It's the real thing". Becoming 'sticky' is the goal of every ad campaign. Marketers want us to sing their jingle, hum their name, recognize their logo instantly, even subliminally. That's where we want Caffection to be, too. Caffection is THE brand, the sticky, instantly recognized symbol for married friendship. Are you married to YOUR best friend? Then you're in Caffection. Congratulations.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Blessings of Caffection
My friends are my estate.
Emily Dickinson

It’s our dream to one day have truly be YOUR website. Each day after returning home from our “paying” jobs, we blog and tweak the site a tad. At times we wonder if a website to affirm married best friends is even needed? And then; there are days we just know. JUSTKNOWIT. Thank you, MJ in Chicago, for sharing your story.
"I live about a 7 minute drive from work. We work from 0700-1730. My partner drops me off in the morning, then I walk the two miles home at night. I love the walk home because it gives me a chance to unwind. I thought I would not be able to walk home in dead of winter, but I've found that's my favorite time to walk home. Maybe being bundled up in my own safe, warm world and walking through the middle of cold snow and ice let's me
know how fortunate I am and lets me know how much I've been given, allowing me to be thankful for everything that I have, is what helps me get back to my center after working all day. Whatever the reason - I still get to come home to my best friend and the love of my life.
Although it's described in so many cultures, I think my favorite is the "Yin and Yang" of the eastern culture. It is, what I feel, the realization and understanding that everything that each of us is,
individually, acc
ents everything that the other is, individually, which makes us more than what either of us could be on our own; and yet we have always been that which we become. That is the understanding that has let us release any anger that may arise from not having the world recognize our rights, because whether the world recognizes our rights or not, it doesn't change who we are, what we have and how we see ourselves. Anyone who sees their relationship in this way, such as the two of you, recognizes the importance of creating equal rights for ALL. It is the recognition of ALL THAT IS within ALL OF US . . . the understanding that there is no separation between us, only the perceived separation."
M & D, your love is a beautiful thing.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Note to Self

We all scribble notes to ourselves about what to do, what to buy at Whole Foods, anniversaries, birthdays, special remembrances, and dates with our best friend. Then we often forget the note! Have you ever gotten to the front door of the grocery and realized that the list is...home on the counter?
A while back we learned of a way to make our daily chores a bit more efficient using what's called the OHIO principal. Only Handle It Once. When a bill arrives--open it, write a check, remail it. Done. When you go to the store--buy whatever you think you'll need in the largest quantity available, and be done. When a nasty chore awaits you in the morning--do it first. Done. Brian Tracy calls this kind of efficient rendering of our time 'eating the frog'. We waste a lot of time trying to save time; waste a lot of energy saving energy. Note to self--I forget.