Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Do you routinely celebrate monthly anniversaries, have your own language or know secrets about each other no one else knows? It's fun to create your own unique rituals, and even more fun to let the whole world know you're married to your best friend. When you're around another caffected couple, be sure to give them some positive feedback. Pass it on!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
The term lover is a rather odd one when you think about it. Odd, because choosing to live with someone, and share a life with them, including all the up down sideways and across that makes a life these days, it would seem odd indeed to share all that with someone you just 'liked'. But when someone refers to their lover, it connotes a secretive, clandestine 'other', a person under wraps from a spouse, and not discussed.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
In spite of what many people in this country think, there's a lot more that binds us than divides us. And the links that bring us together on most contentious issues are easy to cross, and two-way streets. Caffection is another word for the link that two people use all the time to not only recognize differences, but to use them wisely for a deeper understanding of who they are as individuals. No two people are exactly alike, not even twins. If everyone was the same the world would be a boring place indeed. A caffected couple embraces the differences, bridging them with the span of love, the arch of listening, and the strength of interweaving support. It's human nature to try to span a gulf, to cross to the other side just to see what's there. Instead of avoiding our insignificant differences, we need to explore what makes us diverse, and be prepared to expand our understanding, and lose our preconceptions. Once stretched, a mind never returns to its original size or shape. And links almost always bring us back to where we started, and to ourselves.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Peace within our souls comes with discerning hearts. There are times in every life journey which require refocusing and announcing our values. We salute Jerry Sanders, the Mayor of San Diego.
Okay, a little diversion here from the usual caffection blog, and couples-only reading. Here's to my Cubs who are headed to the playoffs! Yes, there is an October in Chicago after all. And it's time. Unless you've been hiding out with Bin Laden and his colleagues, you know it's been exactly 100 years (yes, a century) since Chicago's National League Baseball club took home a world series triumph. Sixty-two years since the Cubs appeared in a series at all. But hey, every team needs to rebuild, right?
Monday, September 22, 2008
Here's an interesting scenario we heard discussed recently on a way of looking at things that tells a lot about how we think, and the choices we make. Take two people--one has packed a picnic lunch, a second has just planted a garden, and place them in front of a window. Looking out the window it's obvious the rain has started, and is now falling in sheets. The picnic person says, "darn it all, I was going to picnic today and enjoy myself." The garden planter says, "great, the rain arrived just in time!"
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Just when we thought perhaps we were the only caffected couple that indulges in marriage rituals, we met a young woman on the flight home from Chicago. We don't have her name, and wouldn't use it in any case, but she lives here in Columbus, her spouse is a physician, (she's an attorney on self-imposed leave for her two young kids), and the couple is definitely caffected. Here's one of their rituals. He brings her flowers every Friday so she'll have them through the weekend. Another, they've decided that since the baby is now 6 months they will hire a sitter every other Saturday evening and go on an old fashioned date. But here's the one we enjoyed most. They refer to each other as LOML's roughly, 'Lomels', meaning Love Of My Life. It gets better. When people ask where they live, they say Lomalia. And better yet: the kids? They're referred to as their two little Lomelettes. It sounds nutty, and a bit cutesy in this crusty, world-weary society, but we think it's very sweet, and it's exactly the kind of behavior we need more of.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
The economy is on everyone’s mind, of course, and we'd be remiss if we didn’t interject a bit of previously published caffectionism here. We’ve written before that a partial solution to the economic morass we find ourselves in is an expedient which at first blush seems ridiculously naive, and even a bit insensitive. We need to spend less than we earn! Okay, beat us up for being oblivious to certain realities--health care crises, job losses, unexpected natural or social disasters, the shrinking dollar. We get that, and we concede that spit happens, as they say. That’s why the safety net isn’t just a good idea; it’s a requirement in a civilized society. But the majority of Americans spend $1.05 for every $1.00 we earn! How long can this last? Here’s where the caffection part comes in. Stable, happy, caffected couples have much more control over their financial well-being than struggling, unhappy, distant couples for the simple reason that spending is very often a symptom of unhappiness, either with a partner or yourself. And it increases geometrically both ways: happy couples amass more savings, thus more security and latitude; unhappy couples spend more, lose money, save less, and have less freedom to maneuver all the time. Caffection may not reform Wall Street, but it might enhance YOUR street.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
October 3rd. Mark the date. Caffection.com goes live. Ready, fire aim, as they say.
It's a bit like putting your child out into the world, or watching your spouse take the stage for the first time in a couples seminar. Nervous, excited, sweaty, giddy, terrified, and absolutely certain of success.
Monday, September 15, 2008
What do these 3 couples have in common?
Today the coaching sessions begin. I'm putting this down as a starting point, a reference so I can measure whatever it is I have to measure for the next three months. I have goals, and as every coach says, goals are a dream with a deadline. They must be realistic, measurable, and desirable otherwise they'll remain a fantasy in our brains, another itsy-poo fragment of a daydream we'd love to get around to...someday.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Here's a preview of what our website, caffection.com, will list. A getaway to the island of Kauai in the Spring of 2010 for active, (caffected) adults only. This trip will be limited to a few couples looking for a getaway that pampers, excites, energizes, and satisfies. No kids; no teens; no stress; no low-expectation hotel, dinner or travel offered. Just the exotic, luxurious, different experience you expect. Budget travelers need not apply. We have the insight and experience to offer this trip to those discerning adults, because Kauai was our home for 3 years. We know what's available, where, and at what time. We know the island, and we'll provide the very best, at the level of luxury those privileged to afford this adventure expect, and deserve. But don't wait for the site to go live; we're taking reservations now, with details forthcoming. If you've done Turks & Caicos, Dubai & Ajram, The Galapagos & Baja, and are looking for another memorable experience, have your agent or secretary check with us. Limited, and luxurious. As you deserve, and expect. Mark the date---Spring 2010 on Kauai.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Passion is a funny emotion. It's energizing, sensitizing, alarming, and a bit frightening once you decide to cede to it. It's also an enigma insofar as it involves total commitment disguised as complete surrender. Human rights and marriage to one's best friend have combined to become our passion, and it feels so right to us that the fear part is quickly giving way to a very different feeling: exhilaration. If you've ever been strapped into the front car on the Millennium Force roller coaster at Cedar Point, or the Beast at King's Island, the first hill vaults you back in your seat, your heart rate zips up, the crest gets closer, closer, no turning back, the ground falls away, the crest is clearly visible now, nothing but sky ahead as the car rattles straight up. Then an instant in suspension where time stands still, your pulse pounds in your ears, the car seems to stop, hanging between back, and the chaos of surrender to follow. In an instant you spill over, fall free, wind gushes, ground rushes at you, gravity vanishes, falling, falling, dizzy, crazy speed with a kaleidoscope of colors, insane forces grab you, jerk you around, on the edge of control, a giddy,hysterical feeling--of what? Childlike joy? That's it. The passion of childhood, when the world was just such a ride, with no constraints, no restrictions, no self-conscious deference to gravity. The ride screeches to a halt in the station, and you realize that for the first time in years your cheeks ache from smiling with the passion you allowed yourself. And you want it again.
Friday, September 12, 2008
We're excited to be living in a time which will see marriage for ALL. It’s good to have strong leaders stand up for equality, just as Gandhi and MLK. Speaking of marriage, we enjoyed these romantic stories and thought you may too. Carl & Rich
Portia & Ellen
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Recently we received new credit cards to replace soon-to-be expiring ones, the instructions were to sign the back or write ask for I.D. on the back of the card. We chose ask for I.D. It worked, the store clerk asked to see our I.D. and looked at the picture to see if we matched! It's a great safety tip that works. Isn't it cool when things work the way they should and the world becomes a safer, gentler, all around better place to be. One additional note in that vein, our friends at PFLAG have a happy story of the power of love we'd like to share. Smile, shed a tear, enjoy --- life is good.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Monday again, and this week we take a look at a wonderful little book by Debbie Ford titled The Best Year of Your Life: Dream it, plan It, live It. How many times do we have this talk with ourselves, where we sit down, take a notebook, make an outline, and plan the next week, month, year, only to find the notebook in a drawer untouched two months later? What started out as a notebook, became a NOT-book, as yet another plan fell apart. Debbie Ford's book offers a way out of that endless cycle by discussing ways to get off the treadmill, and realize that the year we are living in--right now--is truly the best year of our lives. Ford's easy to read, 224 page guide will BE the only notebook you need to finally aim at and reach goals you've put aside so many times it's embarrassing. Even if your plans fall apart once more the book has a valuable lesson insofar as the year we're in can always be the best of our lives, no matter what.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Traveling is fun, it's even better when you're with your best friend. We've been to every corner of the nation and many places in-between. Some of our greatest adventures were on the island of Kauai. The picture was taken before we got lost in the jungle (cool story, be sure to have us tell you about it sometime). The Na Pali Coast is a stunning place to hike and kayak. We'd love to show you some of the off-the-beaten track spots on Kauai such as Hamura's as well as the world famous Roy's. Plan to join us in the spring of 2010.
Want more out of your relationship... more romance, more fun, more energy and enjoyment? Travel with us to the Lush, exotic Hawaiian Garden Island of Kauai!
Exotic Extravaganza Exclusively for Married Best Friends
Learn Marriage Affirming Tools
Meet other Caffected Couples
A Romantic Getaway with Your Best Friend
Enrich Your Caffection With the MTMBF Team
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
We seem to be getting a fair number of readers, but none of you ever comment. We're fairly new to the blogosphere, so is that typical? Or is there something we can do to make it easier to comment? We'd love to hear what you have to say, bad or good, and any constructive criticisms you might have. For instance, a woman in Sanford Florida--Captain Mary--hello down there, and hope all is well. One frequent visitor from Strongsville Ohio checks in, but again no comment. Thus far we've had friends drop in from all over the world--New Zealand, Australia, Hungary, UK, Rio, Canada, Several states in the US, and even a few from the subcontinent and Phillipines. Let us know what you think of the Caffection blog, and let's have a conversation.