This week's book review is a critique of a personal power enhancement publication titled Appreciative Living© by Jacqueline Bascobert Kelm. The book's primary purpose is to take us beyond the necessity of gratitude in everyday life for what we have, into the still modestly explored realm, first studied at Case Western Reserve University in 1980, of Appreciative Inquiry. In the authors' words, "AI is about the co-evolutionary search for the best in people, their organizations, and the relevant world around them". In layman's terms, this means the envisioning of the best of what we want, steering clear of any thought or intimation for what we don't. In other words, think more about what we want than what we dread, empowering the positive in the process.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Appreciative Living Book Review
This week's book review is a critique of a personal power enhancement publication titled Appreciative Living© by Jacqueline Bascobert Kelm. The book's primary purpose is to take us beyond the necessity of gratitude in everyday life for what we have, into the still modestly explored realm, first studied at Case Western Reserve University in 1980, of Appreciative Inquiry. In the authors' words, "AI is about the co-evolutionary search for the best in people, their organizations, and the relevant world around them". In layman's terms, this means the envisioning of the best of what we want, steering clear of any thought or intimation for what we don't. In other words, think more about what we want than what we dread, empowering the positive in the process.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Road Trip
Is the great American Road Trip dead? Maybe. And maybe that's not such a bad thing, especially if you're one of the elite caffected couples out there. High gas prices may keep a lot of families home, or close to it this summer. Couples who already know how to spend time together, and actually enjoy each others' company won't mind. Let's face it, stalled with an overheated radiator in Tucumcari, at nine at night, with a car full of hungry, screaming kids, and a spouse mentioning the engine tune-up that didn't get done isn't exactly the vision of serenity. There's a lot be said for a night at home for a Coen brothers festival, popcorn, a decent white zinfandel, and bed by midnight knowing you can sleep as late as you want. Or a kitchen table round of Trivial Pursuit with Chex-Mix, Mike's Hard Lemonade, old 70's & 80's hits on the stereo, and who cares who wins?
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Well Done Clance & Denise
Friday, June 27, 2008
HRC 25 years
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Birthday flowers
Here's a great way to tell whether or not you're caffected: your spouse anticipates your birthday, makes reservations at the most shee-shee restaurant in town, takes care of all the details, and in the car you go. When you stroll into the place, there on the table, waiting for the birthday person, is a beautiful arrangement of orchids--just like we used to have in the house all the time in Hawaii.
Hanging out with your Best Friend
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Touch of Caffection
Then towel off, take massage oil or lotion, and retire to the quiet room. Take your time. Take turns. Touch each other all over. Release whatever inhibitions you may have, and trust the person you’re in love with to be as gentle and loving as you will be with them. Experiences like this bond people in a caffected marriage. Trips to Paris are a fine thing. New cars in the driveway are, too. Buying a new home together is a way to prove any relationship.
Try it tonight. It's a great way to escape the speed of life.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Love rituals
Having a tough time at the speed of life? Can't seem to make you or your spouse's schedules match up? Here’s an idea. Find a spare room--empty bedroom, walk-in closet, furnace room if need be, and turn it into a meditation room. Darken the walls. Furnish the place with very little--a stand for candles, a small stereo, floor pillows. Heavy shades will enhance the mood. Install a lock on the door. Better yet, make the room off limits to anyone under the age of thirty, or shorter than three feet. Make that four feet. And no pets, either. Take your hour per week, or day, or whatever you decide, and go there. Light the candles. Draw the shades. Put on some a cappella chant, or Tim Janis, Enya, or Secret Garden on the stereo. Stretch out together on the pillows, and just listen to each other breathe. Relax. Enjoy. Do this ritual more than three times in a row and we guarantee you’ll make it part of your sanity routine forever.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Success Principles
Weekly Book Review
The Success Principles by Jack Canfield with Janet Switzer
Just as chapter 55, Be A Class Act discusses, Jack Canfield is a class act, and his book resonates that page in and page out. Being a positive person, I love the underlying theme: what you focus on expands. In addition to the great material in the content of the book, there are numerous resources and tools provided in the last pages.
The Success Principles is one of my go-to books. I highly recommend purchasing your own copy, as you’ll want it on your shelf to reference over and over again.
Romantic Getaways
Nourishing your relationship keeps it healthy and alive. Remember special dates and important events with a note or gift. Enrich your marriage with romantic getaways, even an overnight at a B&B adds spice to life. Enjoy being married to your best friend.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
SHMILY
I find them in the most interesting places--lunch bag, sock drawer, taped to the steering wheel, in a library book (how did she do that?), even scribbled on the bathroom mirror in lipstick, or toothpaste. SHMILY*. And I hide them for her to find, also. In pockets of her scrub pants, inside her sandwich wrapper, even once in a suitcase that she'd packed. (How did he do that?) SHMILY. See How Much I Love You. It's a fine, fun, free tradition that bonds us even more deeply, and maybe even cheers us up when we find the little notes on a crummy day at work.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Love Love
Journal across the sheets
Friday, June 20, 2008
Building Rituals
Couples Forever
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Romantic weekend
Summer Solstice arrives this Saturday. The longest day comes on a weekend this year, so that affords us an opportunity to get away to a romantic spot with our caffected other. Funny how time seems to go faster when we're hanging around together. This weekend the hours may not slip away quite so fast as the sun hangs around a bit longer, too.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Worth the Work
We appreciate the comment left on the blog yesterday, "If only it was that easy. After 12 years or so..."
Hand-holding Comfort
When you see two kids walking down the street holding hands you know they're great friends. The same holds true with couples. People notice when a couple, young or old, enjoys being together. Holding hands is an easy way to show your connection + affection (Caffection!). Public Displays of Caffection (PDC's) are fun and bonding, try it today.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Assumptions
You Know It
Do you answer, "Are you married to your best friend?" with an immediate & resounding; yes! We say, if you know it, then show it. Some couples write love notes in the sand. Tell us a love ritual you & your best friend share. Being married to your best friend IS fun!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Congratulations Californians
Congratulations Newlyweds!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Forgiveness
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Safe Inside
"Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside." Frank Pittman
Marriage is a big commitment. It can be overwhelming if you feel like you're in it up to your neck. When you're married to your best friend, you find the safety that comes from submerging yourself with your mate. Life's a grand adventure! Finding new and exciting things to do, places to go, other couples to meet creates flair in your life together. Enjoy the ride, climb all the way in and make your caffected journey fun.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Coming Attractions
Anticipating a wonderful event can be half the fun of the thing itself. The website is coming along nicely, and will soon be on-line. Patience is needed and will soon be rewarded, with one of the most engaging, useful, progressive and 'appreciative' sites to premier in a long time.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Caffection=Destiny?
We've all heard the expression "those two were meant for each other." Trite as it is, we hear it at nearly every wedding, or any time two people display their caffection in public. (is that called PDC's?) Given the fact that we intend things into our lives, there really are no coincidences. It's entirely possible that the expression is hard truth: that two people who are caffected, married best friends, didn't just stumble on each other. They truly were 'meant to find each other', and that's why they're caffected. There are no mistakes in the universe.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Opp-o-tunity: Rain? Or Rainbows?
The new (to us) theory of Appreciative Inquiry turns a lot of what we've heard, learned, and believed on its head. AI is a premise stating that it's not enough to mentally discount negative inputs and influences, we have to go beyond that and believe only in the positive aspects of all we want and desire. As an example, we all have a tendency to focus on mistakes, lapses, errors in our surroundings. Look at the word in the title to this blog. What do you see? Yes, it appears we forgot the 'R', a typo, how can that be?!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Yum!
This is how we felt when we had
seeing is..?
Antoine de Saint Exupery said, "If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea."
Monday, June 9, 2008
Heat
It's hot. And Summer's not even here yet. We do the same thing every year about this time, we go from discussing the unusually chilly, wet Spring to remarking how hot it is. Here's something else that's truly hot. Two people who really care for each other, and look forward to every change in season together. Sometimes heating up together is better in the Fall, or even the Winter of a relationship. The young have no lock on caffection. Winter's heat can be the warmest and most alluring, as two people's love for each other rekindles easily with every memory and every passing season.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Passion
Passion manifests in many ways. Finding your niche' or your passion in life allows you to release an entrepreneurial creativity which may otherwise go unharnessed. It's our dream that all caffected couples will find their passion together. When you act as a team your creativity isn't just doubled, it becomes energy squared!
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Good Friends
Friday, June 6, 2008
Reality Check
"Reality leaves a lot to the imagination" John Lennon.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Book Review
The book review will become a weekly installment on the caffection blog. We'll preview books that we feel are relevant to couples who are married to their best friend. Today, we start with a book titled What Happy Couples Do by co-authors Carol J. Bruess, Ph.D, & Anna D.H. Kudak, M.A. This is a simple picture/maxim book that is well conceived, well paced, and filled with uplifting anecdotal information about happy couples and the joy they've discovered to, as the authors say, "form enduring bonds between two life partners." Through personal, shared anecdotes, the book addresses issues as serious as being newlyweds, to pet names (little sausage?), to being the captain of your relation--ship. The only drawback we found with the book was that it's too short, but a caffected marriage is, too, so...
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Focus
We have too much going on. Our lives are filled with all manner of self-important tasks, engagements, shoulds, ought to's, better do's, have to's. The result is that all our focus is lost, and we do very little very well.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Attraction
Grace
Monday, June 2, 2008
Universal light
Many thanks to J from Brazil for her fun addition to the blog! She found us, read our entry, and responded that she "loved the word!" It just goes to show that caffection is a universal term for the love, affection, respect, and curiosity we can all have if we aren't afraid to light a candle and seek it out.