Vacation Days

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How can July be gone already?  Just when it feels like it should only be, say, April, or maybe June, the 4th has come and gone, the back-to-school sales have started, and days are noticeably shorter.  August 1st, and then Fall, and then...  But it's only a little depressing if we're standing still.  At our house we're not; we're about to go live with the website, and hoping we're ready, and pretty sure we're not, and going to launch anyway.  Unlike Humpty-Dumpty's, this will be a great Fall.

Couldn't resist.  Thanks for all those who took the quiz.  There will be others, and we'll post results soon.  By the way, for our readers, we're always looking for great stories, heartrending sagas, happy events, and of course tales of caffection.  Send them via the blog, or to our e-mail, byron@caffection.com, or mariah@caffection.com.  We'll be thrilled to hear from you.  Hope your vacation was stupendous.

Today in History: Christopher Columbus landed on the island of Trinidad  1498.

Famous birthday: Charlie Chaplin's granddaughter, Actress Geraldine Chaplin  1944.

Waking with your best friend

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What a privilege to wake with your sexy mate.  Though we, like you, don't look like this in the morning, it's good to focus on the love you feel about each other and let that shine through to the rest of your lives.  Live each moment as if it were the last you'd spend with your lover.  Take full advantage of the gift your relationship is.

SPAM defined

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Speaking of the internet (see previous blog.) We heard some interesting, if not useful information we thought we'd pass on. Spam stands for SHORT POINTLESS ANNOYING MESSAGES, although they may or may not be always short. Voila', there's your trivia for the day, and this lady to the right is how we usually feel about spam.

Sexy Mate Affirmation

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Though 'internet' has yet to be selected in the survey to the left, we know many couples surf the net together. We enjoy watching fun video clips others recommend to us, researching new ideas, and looking up information about great travel destinations. When the Caffection website goes live, you'll have the opportunity to receive a weekly affirmation. Recently we've asked some friends to carry around affirmation pocket cards that read: "I love being married to ________, my sexy mate!" They're instructed to touch the card at least 3 times a day & silently repeat the affirmation, as well as send a blessing to their mate. The idea is to see if affirmations work as well for other couples as they do for us. The answer is...yes! It's pretty cool to think of your (sexy) mate in the middle of the day, and get to climb into bed with them at the end of your day, even if it's just to cuddle. When you're caffected, and you're both too tired too make love, your relationship allows you to snuggle as you drift off to sleep. This is one of the many reasons being married to your best friend is the most romantic thing in the world.

Today in History: President Lyndon Johnson signed the Medicare bill into law 1965.

Famous birthday: Legendary baseball player/manager Casey Stengel 1890.

100 months!

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Okay, so we're a little over the top celebrating anniversaries by month, but it just seems right somehow.  We hear time and again that a successful marriage--a caffected marriage--requires work, and attention, and communication etc.  But the reality is, a great marriage can be pretty self-sustaining if you do with it what you'd do with any highly-valuable asset.  You'd establish a system, a working, repeatable, measurable system that runs itself.  Doing this early in a relationship can create an atmosphere of continuity, and save a lot of wear and tear.  So how to do this?  Set up rituals, caffection habits, that take a few seconds or minutes to do but that deliver huge rewards with your mate.  One of ours is this: when we're out somewhere we can't just say "I love you", one of us will inscribe with fingers on the others' hand or arm the 'I', then a heart figure, then 'U'.  Sure, it's a silly gesture; but it says even more than the oral equivalent, and it works in all kinds of places.  Invent your own, or use ours.  There's nothing silly about being caffected.

Today in History: President Eisenhower signed legislation creating NASA 1958.

Famous Birthday: UN Secretary General Dag Hammarskjold  1905.  

Affirming My Best Friend

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Life is grand when you share it with the one you love and 

the one you love is who you share everything with.  

Here's to the next hundred.

Sex Over Forty

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This week's book review.  Yes, anything with 'sex' in the title attracts attention.  But the fundamental attraction to Dr. Saul H. Rosenthal's Sex Over 40 is the book's absolute commitment to objective, scientific, evidence-based facts on the sexual lives of forty-year-olds and up.  For mature men and women seeking authoritative, non-prurient knowledge about their bodies, and the pleasure they still (imagine!) derive from sexual activity of all kinds, Dr. Rosenthal's book is a must read.  From the use & function of Viagra, effects of age on erectile function, sexual changes in men & women over forty, vaginal dryness, sex post-hysterectomy, and on and on, Rosenthal addresses his topic from both a clinical and humane perspective, without any of the pandering references often found in some 'how-to sex books'.  This is good information packaged with clear, understandable prose, in a way that doesn't insult one's intelligence or sensibility.  If you're over forty, and you want to enjoy a more fulfilling sexual relationship with your SO, or you're any age and seek knowledge for its own sake, this book is a fount of information.  Dr. Rosenthal is also editor of the Sex Over Forty Newsletter.

Sex Over Forty ©1999 Saul H. Rosenthal M.D.  Tarcher/Penguin Books  www.penguinputnam.com     

      

Anniversaries

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A series of e-books we offer from Caffection Press is You Know You're Caffected When...  Number 2 title in this series is simply  YKYCW For Lovers.  In this particular book, one page states "You know you're caffected when...   ...you celebrate your anniversary--in months!  If you celebrate your anniversary in months, chances are good that you're caffected.  Congratulations.  Romance never gets old, and a love affair with your best friend is far and away the best of everything.  Tomorrow Mariah & I will have been married (and caffected) for 100 months.  We still find novel ways to surprise and delight each other.  Between us we have likely written several thousand pages back and forth, sharing thoughts, marking our days and nights together, a longstanding silent journal of our caffected relationship.  It never gets old.  Soon the entire set of YKYCW e-books (and real books) will be available from Caffection Press.  Check back with us; the website is nearly ready, and when it is there will be a delightful array of books we offer you to enhance and celebrate your own elite status as caffected couples.  (Wait'll you see Journal Across the Sheets.  You'll start your own written history.) 

Today in History: Start of World War 1  1914.

Famous Birthday: British children's author Beatrix Potter  1866   

Thank you for loving me, flaws and all

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Have you ever felt the need to get away from yourself?  There're days when we're working, working, working and then hit a wall.  It can drive you crazy, or it can make you realize you just need a break.  At one time or another we all show some unattractive behavior, even toward our best friend.  When that happens, as Thoreau said, "It is as hard to see oneself as to look backwards without turning around."  Touche'.

Good Company

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On Kauai there's a saying, "No rain, no rainbows."  With caffected couples it's, "Good friends, good company."  Tonight we had the pleasure of both!  Thanks for the fun evening B & B.  Kudos to The Hoover Grille for the great food.  http://www.hoovergrille.com

Today in History: The Office of Chief examiner was created, later referred to as the FBI  1908.

Famous birthday: Rolling Stone Mick Jagger 1943.

Travel the World with your Best Friend

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An exciting component we're quickly identifying; Caffection is a global phenomenon.  Imagine how much fun you'll have road-tripping to visit another Caffected couple you've met at a Caffection Event. We've heard from people all over the world, happily married coupling is rampant.  People who are Caffected want ideas from other couples on how to create an even stronger bond.  We'll start sharing some of those ideas here on the blog, with many more to come when the Caffection: Married To My Best Friend Website goes live.  Keep sending your ideas to share with us at mariah@caffection.com or byron@caffection.com 

Romance Quiz

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We're interested in how our readers celebrate their union.  The poll to the left is simple, straightforward, quick, easy.  The results are just for fun, but we'd like to know if everyone enjoys attending to their marriage like we do.  

Could you take a few seconds and fill out our poll?  Thanks a whole lot, and happy caffecting!

Today in History: The Italian Liner Andrea Doria sank after a collision with the Stockholm 1956.

Famous Birthday: Louise Joy Brown world's first IVF (test-tube) baby 1978.

Mobile University

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Have you ever considered the number of hours you spend in your car? No need to be frustrated about that time, instead use it to "read" the great books that you've been meaning to read. Your local library offers many audio books on various topics. Search 'book reviews' on our blog for some suggestions too, and start enjoying your new mobile university. If you have any ideas for book reviews for us, be sure to email us at byron@caffection.com or mariah@caffection.com

Sexy

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A caffected marriage is as sexy as you-know-where. Two people passionately in love with each other, devoted, committed, caffected, is the sexiest image in art, literature, song or reality. Sexy, caffected love has defined civilizations, changed cultures, produced masterpieces, and launched a thousand ships. And the center staple of all that passion has been sex, and the intimacy that goes hand in glove (so to speak) with it.

Since mankind made the connection between sex and babies it's been humanity's driving ambition to separate the two so the one could be more thoroughly enjoyed. Not that we don't enjoy babies, God love 'em, but we need our own grownup version of suckling, cooing and crying in the night, too. Indeed, an argument can be made that the Creator made sex beneficial to our psyche and comfort so we'd put our minds to finding a way to enjoy it without its reproductive baggage. Sex is powerful comfort in a relationship. More so in a caffected marriage where each member has the others' complete and utter benefit in mind. Sex is simply the cement that bonds us like nothing else. And it's fun, too!

Today in History: Tennessee 1st Confederate State readmitted to the Union 1866.

Famous birthday: Amelia Earhart (Putnam) born in Atchison Kansas 1897.

Connection or Affection?

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The question for caffected couples is: Are you caffected because you get along so well, or do you get along so well because you're caffected?  Chicken or Egg? Night or Day? Black or White?

One of our mentors, T. Harv Eker has a possible solution to such enigmas--he says "always think both".  Eker is right; we tend to think in such dualistic terms like black or White, In or Out, On the bus or Off the Bus.  Such a mentality limits us when there are no limits.  So it's possible that regardless of the question, the answer could be--Yes!

Today in History: The Hale/Bopp comet was discovered 1995.

Famous Birthday: Dodgers Hall of Fame shortstop Harold Pee Wee Reese  1919.  

Staycations

"Staycation" is the new word on the street. If you're staying close to home while on vacation this year,

Fun Quotes

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Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.  Oscar Wilde

Love Making Energy

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Ever heard, or said, "I'm too tired."  Funny thing is, when we focus energy toward our lover, we get it back.  Try giving a massage while sending love through your fingertips.  You'll be amazed at how energized you feel.  For the talented folks out there, play a tune on your violin or piano for your mate and see them smile.  It truly is taking simple pleasures from each other that bonds you together.

Caffection and the Sacred

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As much as we avoid discussing the sacredness of things today, there's a part of every one of us that yearns for a connection to the sacred.  Our definition of sacred is that which we hold with unconditional positive regard.  And yes, marriage is something sacred to us.  Despite the battering that the institution of marriage has taken, we know that such a union contains the seeds of the sacred, the elements of the elemental holy and worthwhile.  If it's true that 50% of marriages fail, it is equally true that 95% of people remarry.  Marriage is, in our humble opinion, a sacred, elite status.  

And that's what we promote.  Our proposition is this: everyone should be married to their best friend.  Simple.  Logical.  Beautiful.  Our contention is that, when everyone is married in a caffected way, the world will be a better place.  This may sound wildly ambitious.  So did emancipation, child labor laws, women's suffrage, civil rights and on and on.  There are three phases to every cultural change: 1st, skepticism; 2nd violent opposition; 3rd acceptance as common wisdom.  We realize that caffection lacks the gravitas of suffrage, emancipation or civil rights, but marriage needs the boost we intend to give it.  Everyone should be married to their best friend.  It's a sacred ideal.

Today in History: Congress restored U.S. Citizenship to Confederate General Robert E. Lee.   1975  

Famous birthday: Jeopardy host Alex Trebek born in 1940.

Weekly book review

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This week we'll review a sweet little book titled Life's Journeys According to Mister Rogers.  As the title indicates, Mister Rogers shares 150 pages of his personal insights and anecdotes just the way you'd expect him to if you were watching the neighborhood on TV.  One of our favorite pages addresses a Fred Rogers mantra about the uniqueness of every single human being.  "You are a very special person," he writes.  "There is only one like you in the whole world.  There's never been anyone exactly like you before, and there never will be again.  Only you.  And people can like you exactly as you are."

Kids of all ages responded to this gentle man, because we all sensed his deep kindness.  A personal connection with Fred Rogers is appropriate here: when our daughter Amanda was 3 her grandmother died, and, in her grief she wrote to her hero, Mister Rogers.  a few weeks later Amanda received a personal letter from Fred Rogers comforting her in her time of loss.  In that letter he used some of the same words of wisdom in the book we feature today.  We're all unique; we're all the same.  The wonderful mystery of humanity as seen through the eyes of Mister Rogers.  

Life's Journeys According to Mister Rogers   © 2005 Family Communications Inc.    

Exclusivity

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That's what Caffection provides, in every sense.  In a Caffected relationship, infidelity is a vague concept, an unfortunate social reality 'out there' that always indicates a traumatic shortcoming in a relationship.  Exclusivity is a lot more than sexual fidelity, though; it's physical, emotional, social, certainly financial these days, and psychological.  In exclusivity there's a degree of safety--not just in terms of physical ease with a mate, but of course in terms of our health, too.  What it all boils down to is that exclusivity and fidelity, and therefore Caffection have never been so critically important.  

The positive side of all this is simple: Caffection allows us to be completely at ease, to be joyful with our mates, to laugh easily, to touch without fear, and to trust with a depth of understanding that cannot be easily described.  There's a reason that rich, lush, exotic experiences are referred to as exclusive.  They leave nothing to be desired, wanted, or needed, but instead satisfy totally.  Caffected love is like that.  May everyone have Caffection one day.

Today in History: Confederate forces win first Manassas, or Bull Run  1861

Famous birthday: Yusaf Islam, Cat Stephens, 60's singer 1947.

     

Positive Quotes Add Romance

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Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of becoming passionate friends.  Harville Hendrix

Leaving positive quotes in your lover's pocket to find later in the day, or even in another season (if you tuck it in when putting the winter coats away in March... or May if you live in the Midwest!) is a great way to tell your mate just how much you love them.  An easy way to do this is to print a quote, which we'll provide for you on the soon to be launched Caffection: Married To My Best Friend website.  We've come to realize it's just as much fun to give the quotes in a note as it is to receive them.  So start passing out positive quotes with reckless abandon, and feel your positive energy soar.

Best friends forever

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Okay, so what does it mean to be best friends?  And why is it we're so squeamish about using that designation?  It wasn't hard when we were seven.  It seemed easy at age eleven.  Seemed even easier at fourteen when we ached to be part of a clique, and to have one special person who knew all our secrets, foibles, fears and aspirations.  So what is a best friend at any age, and why should we expect to be married to them?  

Our answer to that question is the reason we started this celebration of 'caffected' relationships; our response is why in the world would you marry anybody else?  See the definition above?  One special person.  Knows your secrets.  Knows your foibles, fears, aspirations.  Does this sound like someone you'd want sharing your space, your kitchen, your car, your bed, your living and dining room, your romantic interludes, your life?  It does to me. One of the best reasons to be married to your best friend is so you can get in touch once again with your inner seven-year-old, and to have a mate who encourages that.  On the wall in our study we have a little sign that says: "Could it be any more obvious?"  No, it could not: everyone should be married to their best friend.  Got caffection?  Congratulations.

Today in History: Neil Armstrong 1st man to walk on the moon  1969.

Famous Birthday: Sir Edmund Hillary 1st of two men to walk atop Mt. Everest Born 1919

    

Seven Caffected Wonders of the World

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Ah, you've all heard of the 7 Wonders of the World, but have you heard of the Seven Wonders of the World for the Caffected Couple?  You already have many of them, now enjoy creating the rest. (*be sure to check out past blogs for details)

Seven Caffected Wonders of the World

1)  Connection.  A deep connection with the one person who knows you better than anyone. (*6/2/08)

2)  Affection.  Ranging from warm to red hot,exclusively reserved for your lover. (*5/30/08)

3)  Comfort.  A best friend you can count on through thick and thin. (*6/25/08) 

4)  Sexy.  A seductive glance across a crowded room says 'I want you; you're still the one.' (*4/24/08)

5)  Affirmation.  Acknowledging and appreciating your mate daily. (*7/2/08) 

6)  Rituals.  Things only you two do that create a special bond.  (*6/20/08)

7)  Knowing.  You know the love you harbor in your soul is mirrored in your mate's. (*3/30/08)

Celebration Ideas coming soon

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Just a preview of what will be available to you on our great website coming soon: E-books!  We have a series of E-books that you'll want to check into.  One series is titled You Know You're Caffected When...  Each one is addressed to a specific audience.  We have one book for long-term couples, another for dreamers, another for older couples, another for lovers of the sea, one for lovers of music etc. etc.    

Another set of E-books is only for a select few caffected couples: those who are always looking for new ways to become more intimate with each other.  This set is titled Journal Across the Sheets, and is a monthly, thirty-day booklet those select few will use to write to each other every night--in bed--just prior to lights out, or anything else.

We intend to add value to these products--complimentary items to assure our commitment to couples we intend to help celebrate their love and Caffection.  It's what we're about.

Today in History: Nadia Comaneci given the first perfect 10 score in Olympic history 1979

Famous Birthday: Ohio Senator, and first American to orbit earth John H. Glenn jr.  1921  

July Heat

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Mark Twain said everybody complains about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.  So, here's what we're doing about it.  We're making an effort to NOT complain about it.  Our philosophy is that whining just adds to the heat, and not the light, so we don't do it.  Here are a few alternatives to July heat: more heat; rain; drought; too cool; too humid; not warm enough to swim; not cool enough to picnic.  Notice the common denominator?  There's not a blessed thing we can do about any of those.  So why waste the energy?  Instead, let's see what the positive side is: we're alive (that's pretty good); we're healthy; we live in the greatest nation on earth; we have people who love us (that's really good); we eat regularly; we sleep indoors; and we (usually) have enough cash to see us through.  In short: life is good.  If you're caffected with your mate, life is perfect.  Got Caffection?

Today in History: Disneyland opened in Anaheim California in 1955.

Famous birthday: Peter Schickele, aka P.D.Q. Bach, born in Iowa in 1935.   

Family Focus

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One thing we focus on with passion at Caffection.com is family, and the benefit to families of being Caffected couples.  Kids in 'caffected families' can't help but thrive.  A recent article about adoption mentioned the hundreds of displaced children who have found happy, healthy, loving homes with gay couples.  This is a commendable thing, and should be encouraged by everyone.  

Another gratifying piece was about efforts to recognize the right of gays & lesbians to marry in this country.  This, too, is a family issue, and we're encouraged that, eventually, these 'families', too, will be recognized and celebrated for their addition to the feast that is a joyful, mutually-beneficial married family life.  John Lennon said "all you need is love", and we agree.  We appreciate the courageous politicians, religious leaders, community activists and common people linking up for a better understanding for all on this issue.  We're all linked together, one big family, after all, and that's what matters.

Today in History: J.D. Salinger's novel The Catcher in the Rye published 1951.

Famous birthday: Shoeless Joe Jackson 1887

Enthusiastic Marriage

CAFFECTION.com

enthusiastic |enˌθoōzēˈastik|   adjective

having or showing intense and eager enjoyment, interest, or approval

marriage |ˈmarij| noun

 the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife.

• a similar long-term relationship between partners of the same sex.

What on earth would an enthusiastic marriage entail?  Eager enjoyment in your long-term relationship.  Many of you reading this look forward to coming home to your mate at the end of the day.  Your mate provides a great deal of support, giving you the attention and time you need.

We've all heard of a purpose driven life, which is typically thought of in terms of life goals.  Imagine making your mate the purpose of your life.  The BIG WHY.  For best friends who happen to be happily coupled, it's not a stretch of the imagination.  

We dream of the day we can work & travel together, spreading the Caffection message.  So go way out there... dream with us.  Tell us what your BIG WHY as a couple would be. 

We look forward to hearing about your dreams.

Today in History: Apollo/Soyuz, 1st International manned space flight begins 1975.

Famous birthday: Rocker Linda Ronstadt 1946  

 

Passion

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They say that we should do what we feel passionate about, and the rest will follow.  Imagine Vincent Van Gogh painting because he didn't know how to play piano, or Tiger Woods golfing because bowling intrigued him, but he never had the ambition to learn it.  Imagine Nelson Mandela sitting in Robbin Island prison for twenty-seven years because he couldn't think of a better life!

Passion is what drives those who excel at whatever they do. And caffected couples understand that passion is what makes a marriage truly excellent, and exemplary.  Bogie & Bacall, Edward the 8th & Wallis Simpson, Bonaparte & Josephine, Romeo & Juliet--the bottom line?  Passion.  And the amazing thing is--it's a choice, and it's FREE!

                   Got Caffection?

Today in history: Bastille Day 1789 The start of the French Revolution, (speaking of passion).

Famous Birthday: Passionate folk singer Woodie Guthrie 1912.  

Expanding the Caffection Network

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We believe you're reading this blog because you're in a caffected relationship.  We know you have great ideas and rituals to share with us and other caffected couples.  We'd like your assistance in expanding the caffection network. How many of you know another couple who are best friends? They should be celebrating their elite status as a caffected couple. 

How many of you have gotten the word out (created a buzz) about a positive, energetic project that you've worked on in the past?  How many of you set a goal of connecting with 10, 100, 1000, 10,000......... people in one day and then made it happen? We know that's happened to you or someone you know.  

Let's get the word out:  Marriage is great!  Being Caffected is great!  Celebrate being married to your best friend!  

Email buzz ideas to us:  mariah@caffection.com  byron@caffection.com

Monday Book Review: "Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting"

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Our families will tell you, we weren’t always positive people. We’re who we are now from being in our caffected relationship, weeding out the negatives in our lives (from numerous stimuli), using many great books/CD’s available from the library or bookstore and choosing to focus on the positive life we’re creating. Attitude is a choice.

‘Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting’ by the late Lynn Grabhorn was recommended to us by friends who used her workbook as a couples study guide. That's a great way to build caffection -- strong work K & T.

Ms. Grabhorn believed in the Law of Attraction; focus on the lack or the abundance in your life and you get more of what you’re focusing on. She had us consider our attitude and the vibrational energy we send out into the universe. She’s given us a way to overcome the negative focus, push beyond the norm of societal wants and create a life based on our own choices. While reading her book we wrote a list of what we didn’t want. Once it was complete we shredded it; a very liberating practice that we highly recommend. Making a list of what we want is a continuous and evolving process. We take pleasure in deciding what we want, writing it down, focusing on it, talking about it, declaring it’s on the way and knowing it will show up soon. And guess what? It does. It’s the Law of Attraction; what you focus on expands.

Your blog/website

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The more responses we receive on this blog the more we understand the initial wisdom of why we started this: it's not about us; it's for everyone who feels as we do about marriage & caffection, and wants to share whatever they choose about it.  It's been truly gratifying (and exciting) to discover that our idea has legs, and that there are so many caffected couples out there.  It's not just a local thing, either.  We've had responses from Canada, Spain, U.K., all across the U.S., Brazil, Hawaii, and on and on.  And one of the most interesting and gratifying revelations in this is that our readers are using the term 'Caffection', which four months ago didn't exist as a word in English, or any other language.  But it does now, and couples read it, 'get it', and use it!  

So thanks to every one of you who have read what we offer.  Please pass it along to any other caffected couples you know.  It's obvious that there are many, many of us.  The website will be open soon--hopefully by mid August--and from what our webmaster has let us see thus far we're in for a real treat.  But it's not what we first imagined; it's much, much more, and as we should have realized it's not even ours.  It belongs to you, and every caffected couple who wants to celebrate their relationship.

So Mahalo, Gracias, Danke shoen, Thank you.  Visit any time.

Today in History: New York City hit by a blackout in 1977

Famous birthday: Actor Harrison Ford 1942.   

EXCLUSIVE Romantic Getaways

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Google 'Romantic Getaways' and you'll be treated to 1,660,000 results.  Great selection, but let's narrow it down some.  Search: 'Exclusive Romantic Getaways for Married Best Friends' --- presto #1, #2 & #3 results were "CAFFECTION! Married To My Best Friend."  Very Cool!  A big thanks to you, our readers, who want more information, more ideas, and more affirmation for the great relationships you've already devoted your life to.  Let's move forward and talk about ways to bring it up a notch.  Just as successful business gurus teach ways to improve a business by learning from other successful businesses, we're confident successful marriages have much to offer each other.  Imagine how gratifying it could be to know you & your mate will enrich another caffected couple's life just by sharing a ritual or two that they incorporate into their relationship.  We know from experience how exciting it is to make that kind of a difference, and doing it just by being who you are is fun.  We've found that when you bring two or more caffected couples together the room is electric with energy from the positive attitudes.  We look forward to having you experience this excitement, too.  Soon we'll be passing on details of upcoming events and opportunities to meet and share in the joy that Caffection brings.  So, if you have recommendations for event locations be sure to email us your ideas:  mariah@caffection.com or byron@caffection.com

Today in History: The Etch-A-Sketch went on sale 1960.

Famous Birthday: R. Buckminster Fuller 1895

Weekend Advice

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The perfect weekend is sunshine, blue skies, warm temperatures, cold beer, and the lawn mower is broken so the grass may have to be baled.  

So it is with a caffected relationship; sunny skies, warmth, intoxicating interaction with your spouse, and no possibility of the noisy, clattering distraction of responsibility.  Oscar Wilde once said that the best way to avoid temptation is to give in to it.  So kick back, smile often, hug each other till the kids get creeped out and leave you alone.  That's the idea after all, to make them so uncomfortable that they seek a nest of their own with sunny skies, warmth, and the intoxication of falling in love with their own best friend and bale out of the nest.  

It occurs to me that since we're gone most of the work week, most family interaction happens on weekends, so have a good one, and forget about the broken mower.  Short grass is overrated.

Today in history: Babe Ruth made his major league debut with the Boston Red Sox as a pitcher--1914. 

Famous Birthday: Actor Tab Hunter--1931

Celebrate your union

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We're looking for ways couples celebrate their anniversaries, shared red-letter dates, special occasions etc.  If you have a unique, or quirky, or particularly romantic ritual you observe for one of your special days we'd love to hear about it.  One way we mark days to remember in our relationship is to simply plan and do nothing else unless it's absolutely necessary--as in there's bleeding or a loss of consciousness involved, or possibly loss of employment!  Otherwise we set aside a full day, if we can, to just hang together.  We've said it before in the blog, but it's still true, we'd rather go to Target together than to Paris with someone else.  

Let us hear your caffection rituals, routine remembrances and any other rites you want to share.  Initials and location are just fine, and we'll post the best ones--or all of them if we have room.  Here's your chance at fifteen minutes of fame, and to celebrate your union at the same time.  Thanks in advance for your interest.  Thanks, too, go to Stuart who's been 'caffected now for 30 years'!  His rituals include seeking out a new place for breakfast. "best meal of the day".  Hello to your BF, Stuart, and thanks!   (Byron@caffection.com or Mariah@caffection.com)

Today in History: the Battle of Britain began in 1940.

Famous birthday: Author Saul Bellow in 1914  

Positive Outlook Creates Romance

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Look for the positive in your mate and affirm it.  Make your mate's favorite meal or give them a massage when they've had a tough week (or even when they haven't).  We've blogged about affirmations and rituals to strengthen your bond, now we'd like to hear from our readers...

Tell us about you.  Do you have rituals?  What's your favorite romantic get-away?  How does a positive outlook create romance in your life?

This day in History: 1997 Boxer Mike Tyson suspended for biting off Evander Holyfield's ear!

Famous Birthday: Tom Hanks, July 9th 1956.  Happy Birthday Forrest!

Website Details

CAFFECTION.com

Our website caffection.com is coming along nicely.  We're itching to get it up and running, hopefully by mid-August, at which time our loyal readers will be in for a major treat.  Since we've not discussed details of Caffection.com thus far, we'll lift the lid just a bit, and give you a peek at what's brewing:

This daily blog will continue and be incorporated into the site; you'll have access to daily quotes, weekly affirmations, a monthly newsletter, and random announcements of various relevant content; you'll want to check into our Romantic Getaway page dedicated to discerning couples on the lookout for exclusive travel sites & intriguing adventures; interactive sections include sharing warm, affectionate stories of your relationship, humorous anecdotes, reasons for visiting Caffection.com, and a section titled You Know You're Çaffected When...  Plus much more content, ideas, free complementary items, and the Caffection Store with our branded products available only to elite couples who are truly caffected, and revel in that status.  The Caffection website is simply the only place to celebrate a truly wonderful marriage--Yours.  Stay tuned.

On this date in History: The Declaration of Independence was read in public for the first time, in Philadelphia.

Birthday today--Mr. Six degrees of separation, Kevin Bacon, born in 1958.    

Weekly Book Review When I Loved

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This week we review a simple quotation book that manages a serious look at a very real problem for a number of people: low self esteem, and its corrosive affect on one's life.  When I Loved Myself Enough, by Kim McMillen is a simple work that, in the tradition of books such as Richard Paul Evans' The Christmas Box, was written as a private offering, then passed from friend to friend until it found an audience, and eventually a publisher.  Ms McMillen, using her down-to-earth philosophy, acts as her own therapist to elicit real change in her life, and to find the person she comes to 'love myself enough'.  When I Loved Myself Enough contains timeless wisdom to heal, and to share her own journey with any who read it.  My personal favorite is on page 14 "When I loved myself enough...  I let the Tomboy in me swing off the rope in Jackass Canyon.  Yes!

When you read Kim McMillen's When I loved Myself Enough you will share a secret that no psychological tome can transmit: Time is short--love yourself, or love of others is not possible. As if in foreshadowing, the book's message of life's brevity proved ominous; Kim McMillen died shortly before completing her book, passing its author-ity to her daughter Alison.  

When I Loved Myself Enough©  1996 Kim McMillen  St. Martin's Press 175 Fifth Ave.  New York NY  10010  www.stmartins.com

Sixty

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What an odd feeling waking up with the realization that one is 60!  All manner of thoughts crowd in: I can't possibly be 60; I can't possibly NOT be 40 anymore; this means the next biggie is, gulp, 70!; I'm running out of time; I now have the best time to get real work done; I can't wait to not have to work ever again; and finally (for now) "this explains why I'm tired all the time."

So here's the best way to celebrate 60: revel in it, in the latitude it grants you, in the truly vast amount of experience and understanding you've acquired.  Don't assume there's little time left--or there may be, and take your own advice about living every single blessed day like you should have been doing at 16 and thought everyone slept till 11 a.m. like you did.

By the way, Mariah has outdone herself; Cherry Ridge Retreat is way beyond wonderful into, well, perfect.  Best B'day ever, dear one, thank you from the bottom of my ancient heart.  I love you.  Can't wait to see what you have in store for 100.  

Romantic getaway

CAFFECTION.com

So here's another advantage of being married to your best friend; a romantic getaway to a cabin in the hills--cooking out (or in) hot tub, hiking, canoeing by candlelight, no kids, no pets, no visitors, no stress.   And if it rains?  So much the better.

Caffection--a three syllable word for marital bliss.  You can look it up.

But you can't look us up this weekend, because we'll be hiding in the hills till Monday.   

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. 

Andre Maurois

Independence!

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Happy 4th of July!  Here's hoping everyone has fireworks in their relationship, liberty in their lives, and independence in their spirit.  

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands--one nation, under God, with liberty and justice for all.

Winston Churchill said it best: "Democracy is a very poor form of government; but it's much better than anything else ever tried."

And while we're at it, let's celebrate our marriages, because a caffected marriage is fireworks, liberty, and independence all rolled into one.

Affirmations

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Affirmations, we’ve all heard of them, but can they really help build a stronger relationship?  You bet they can, and here’s an easy way to do it.  Each week we’ll share an affirmation on the Caffection! Married To My Best Friend website (stay tuned for launch details) and a tool for its use.  Until then, a handwritten note that says I love my mate will work, fold it & keep it in your pocket. Pull it out, or touch it at least 3 times a day, silently repeat the affirmation and send a blessing to your mate.

There are other times your affirmations can come in handy.  When negative people are unavoidably in our environment and become critical or begin to complain, let that trigger your brain to remember the affirmation in your pocket.  You may also want to add a mutual goal on the back to focus on as well.  Ours is:  Our focus is creating MTMBF.  We know many couples will ‘get’ caffected.  Refuse to get sucked into the negative wave of emotion by shifting your focus to a positive: your mate and your mutual goal.  When you’re back together, share how many times that day you had to do this mental state change. You’ll be amazed at how often you’ll have the opportunity to flip your attention to what your focus in life is.  Soon this intimate ritual will become second nature. This practice is very bonding, and a great way to build CAFFECTION!  When it sends a spark of positive energy through your body; SMILE.  People may look at you strange, Let them wonder.  You know.  No need to explain, you’re married to your best friend.  Everyone should have a love like this!

What we do

CAFFECTION.com

It has come to our attention that our mission, our BIG WHY is somewhat ambiguous, that our goal is undefined.  Since everyone has a big WHY, whether they realize it or not, a life story that propels them forward forcing them out of bed each morning, we'll attempt to clarify ours. It's somewhat easier when the BIG WHY is shared between two people who are crazy about each other, which brings us to the first point.

And here it is: we believe in marriage.  As it says in our attached statement, we believe that those who choose to be married should be married to their best friend.  There's no more gentle, fulfilling life than to share a marriage with the one person you love so deeply you cannot imagine being without them.  Our mission is this simple: Marriage is good; everyone should be married to their best friend.  

We are not pro-gay, pro-straight, pro-Irish, or pro-bono.  We are pro-marriage, passionately, and period.  But to clarify further, for this very reason we believe that to deny this blissful state to those who happen to be of the same gender is not only misguided and discriminatory, it is un-Christian, and simply wrong.  Further, we believe it is, at all events, none of our business what two people in love with each other decide between themselves.  This is not a religious, moral, or ethical case; this is a legal case, in a country whose very foundation is cemented in law, not religion.  This separation is what sets us apart from theocratic countries like Saudi Arabia, Iran, and Iraq.  

So our BIG WHY is to celebrate marriage.  Period.  Whoever is married to their best friend has our congratulations, and our gratitude for accentuating the elite status of a stable, happy 'caffected' marriage.